Blog Dis
The short fuse...
2024-10-15
Let us strip away the façade of perfect behavior and bare our naked selves, at least for today, my friends. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Perhaps being roused from my sleep at 3:30 a.m. by a twisted dream had something to do with turning my generally sunny disposition into a sour puss.
Everything annoyed me this morning. I should've stayed home and hid indoors. I got up and prepared for work regardless. As I headed for work, I noticed a strange man in the back parking lot of my building, as we passed each other. He wasn't undressing me with his eyes, rather it felt like he was dressing me with his eyes, the cheeky bastard, reminding me that I'm beyond my sex-doll days, beyond my baby-making days, and that I've entered into the wise, purposeful no-time-to-waste phase of my life. I deked out of the parking lot, and onto the side street, heading straight for the office. This life! It's unwise to let strangers influence a perfectly good crisp October morning. But I did, however. Then the loud, booming sound of a voice came from behind and this annoyed me too, so I crossed the street yet again. Why do people engage in loud conversations on their clever phone outside, on a bus or in elevators? Do they realize that the volume of their voice rises? I only ask they show some mercy. Text your buddy and ask if it's OK that you'll call them back later.
Moving right along, I observed a young couple walking arm in arm together, the kind of embrace where his arm reaches around her waist. This annoyed me too, watching inseparable lovers who couldn't fathom walking outdoors w/o being stuck together like cling-wrap. I'm rarely annoyed by such displays of affection and have, in the past, observed with amusement and fascination as lustful teenagers engage in a lengthy lip-lock. Teenagers, while waiting for the bus, can kiss non-stop for 30 minutes, w/o coming up for air, the way I did when I was their age, raging with hormones, oblivious to all, nor did I care. But when our mood plummets for no apparent reason, we become hyper-sensitive. Then it became the sound of heels on pavement; short, punchy clicks that followed behind me and seemed to get louder the faster I walked away from them, to put distance between me and that annoying-as-hell clicking. Of course, it is mid-October and temperatures have dropped so out come high-heeled boots. Wait for the full onslaught of winter and then clicking will turn to slushing.
When, how and why does our fuse get shortened? It simply isn't feasible to remain happy and content all the time. Like life, there are moments when you need to lie down with your pain and wallow in it, as I did this morning with my short fuse, while in bed, before my alarm went off. I wanted to tell the whole world off, that its routine can go screw itself, though I know that this is a ridiculous way to behave, and completely out of character for me.
I finished my stroll into work, chiding myself for reacting to these annoyances like a sensitive b*tch. None of these people were doing anything out of the ordinary. The annoyances were a simply a fabrication of my mind, a cranky mood, if you will. However, my mood changed from overreacting to silly and pestering annoyances to one of gratitude. I saw down the street a young girl, couldn't have been more than in early 20s. She whizzed along the sidewalk in a wheelchair. I chided myself yet again.
There is absolutely nothing I have to complain about, and I have every reason to feel grateful for my health, family, friends, work and freedom to enjoy whatever I want, without going into massive debt. You have your version of gratitude. I've mine. Music uplifts my mood too and it helps me to remain on track, to inspire me to work out, to pull myself together in the morning, to keep life in its proper perspective. Like the news last evening, which highlighted how the Food Cupboard in Ottawa served some 8,000 meals in 2023. Whereas, this year in 2024, the number has increased to 15,000 and we only just had Thanksgiving weekend, which means holiday season to come will see more traffic.
When in doubt: open the kitchen drawer, pull out the raggedy plastic bag of loosely-kept spares, and switch up the burned-out fuse for a brand spanking new one. You'll feel better in no time!
Everything annoyed me this morning. I should've stayed home and hid indoors. I got up and prepared for work regardless. As I headed for work, I noticed a strange man in the back parking lot of my building, as we passed each other. He wasn't undressing me with his eyes, rather it felt like he was dressing me with his eyes, the cheeky bastard, reminding me that I'm beyond my sex-doll days, beyond my baby-making days, and that I've entered into the wise, purposeful no-time-to-waste phase of my life. I deked out of the parking lot, and onto the side street, heading straight for the office. This life! It's unwise to let strangers influence a perfectly good crisp October morning. But I did, however. Then the loud, booming sound of a voice came from behind and this annoyed me too, so I crossed the street yet again. Why do people engage in loud conversations on their clever phone outside, on a bus or in elevators? Do they realize that the volume of their voice rises? I only ask they show some mercy. Text your buddy and ask if it's OK that you'll call them back later.
Moving right along, I observed a young couple walking arm in arm together, the kind of embrace where his arm reaches around her waist. This annoyed me too, watching inseparable lovers who couldn't fathom walking outdoors w/o being stuck together like cling-wrap. I'm rarely annoyed by such displays of affection and have, in the past, observed with amusement and fascination as lustful teenagers engage in a lengthy lip-lock. Teenagers, while waiting for the bus, can kiss non-stop for 30 minutes, w/o coming up for air, the way I did when I was their age, raging with hormones, oblivious to all, nor did I care. But when our mood plummets for no apparent reason, we become hyper-sensitive. Then it became the sound of heels on pavement; short, punchy clicks that followed behind me and seemed to get louder the faster I walked away from them, to put distance between me and that annoying-as-hell clicking. Of course, it is mid-October and temperatures have dropped so out come high-heeled boots. Wait for the full onslaught of winter and then clicking will turn to slushing.
When, how and why does our fuse get shortened? It simply isn't feasible to remain happy and content all the time. Like life, there are moments when you need to lie down with your pain and wallow in it, as I did this morning with my short fuse, while in bed, before my alarm went off. I wanted to tell the whole world off, that its routine can go screw itself, though I know that this is a ridiculous way to behave, and completely out of character for me.
I finished my stroll into work, chiding myself for reacting to these annoyances like a sensitive b*tch. None of these people were doing anything out of the ordinary. The annoyances were a simply a fabrication of my mind, a cranky mood, if you will. However, my mood changed from overreacting to silly and pestering annoyances to one of gratitude. I saw down the street a young girl, couldn't have been more than in early 20s. She whizzed along the sidewalk in a wheelchair. I chided myself yet again.
There is absolutely nothing I have to complain about, and I have every reason to feel grateful for my health, family, friends, work and freedom to enjoy whatever I want, without going into massive debt. You have your version of gratitude. I've mine. Music uplifts my mood too and it helps me to remain on track, to inspire me to work out, to pull myself together in the morning, to keep life in its proper perspective. Like the news last evening, which highlighted how the Food Cupboard in Ottawa served some 8,000 meals in 2023. Whereas, this year in 2024, the number has increased to 15,000 and we only just had Thanksgiving weekend, which means holiday season to come will see more traffic.
When in doubt: open the kitchen drawer, pull out the raggedy plastic bag of loosely-kept spares, and switch up the burned-out fuse for a brand spanking new one. You'll feel better in no time!
