Blog Dis
Attraction is illogical
2025-03-20
"Nobody wants to f*ck me anymore!" he declared to me, hanging his head low, almost between his legs. "Drunks tell no lies," my father used to say, was all that I could say to him in return. And as my male friend made his comment to me, about the state of his hopeless unattractiveness, I tried to cheer him up by coming back with, "There is someone out there who'll want you because there is always a lid to fit every pot. The real question is whether or not you want them in return."
Attraction is not rooted in logic. In fact, attraction is about pheromones, releasing a chemical attractant that hopefully will influence the behaviour of the other individual, thereby making you more attractive to said person. Truth is that when another person feels an attraction toward you, they don't actually analyze and dissect their attraction; they just know in their mind and heart they feel different because they are truly behaving differently. Too often, I've heard women become disgusted with their male friends when these male friends approaching middle age are beginning to turn their eye to "almost women", what I'd call girls at the age of 18 or under, not quite adults but neither are they children. I, too, have looked upon these men with a disapproving eye, more so if they're chasing after girls under the age of consent. Then their attraction is less about attraction and more about control and taking advantage of the ignorance of the young person. The older and more mature individual is able to exert a kind of influence over the bubble-headed teen and thereby gain a greater sense of control. And the naïve teen is operating at half-mast, without the breadth of life experience to sort through the blarney spouted off by the older person. Age of Consent laws came into effect to ensure that teenagers wouldn't end up in jail, say if an 19 year-old is attracted to 16 year-old. No doubt, however, men would roll their eyes and argue differently, to the effect that all women, both young and older, possess control over them and therefore play a role in impacting their ability to apply reason and logic to the situation.
Again, I call this reasoning a load of blarney, because it is—no if's, ands or buts. I've also argued with platonic male friends, who make feeble attempts to come back at me with, "My body is the reason why this happened! Or, I just wasn't thinking!" To which I reiterate, this too is a load of doggie-doo. We each are equipped with a thinking brain that makes conscious choices. So, say for example, I put a blindfold on a man to render him incapable of eye-balling who is doing what to him. With a blindfold, the man wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a young or old mouth, if a female was busy blowing his horn, any more than he'd know if it the 'she' in question was a human or a chimpanzee, so long as he was receiving good oral pleasure. But take off the blindfold and his eyes are designed to send a visual cue to the brain, the minute he sees what he likes.
We each make conscious choices, but with free-thinking adults (of age), we may not necessarily realize our attraction to another person right away.
Historically speaking, men who notoriously chased and used women to the fullest, while they were able to do so, are the first to want to lock up their 13 year-old daughter to avoid men like themselves. Hypocrisy is part of the package of attraction in this regard. Some of my gay friends, who are pretty much as blunt as they come on this subject, will acknowledge in the gay community that when a gay man hits his 40s, he's considered by younger gay men to be too old for anything, unless he has deep pockets and the young guy is looking for a fair exchange of youth for caretaking. This seems to me to be one half of both: one part attraction and one part economics.
I believe I was an anthropologist in another life. I find the socialization and inherent skills acquired by way of living life, and those taught to us by our parents, to be wholly fascinating. I sincerely believe so long as you are alive and breathing, with a relatively decent pair of legs and a beating heart, you will feel attraction for a person who may not be your type at all. And sometimes, just sometimes, your attraction might even surprise you to the point that you find yourself drawn to someone of the same sex. It has been known to happen, men and women coming to the conclusion later in life that they want to have a go with someone of the same sex just to be able to experience love from the other side of the fence. Apparently, and based on what I've read, women become more radical as they age vs men who become more settled as they age. Only, I've learned and accepted now that it's a bit of both for both sexes.
Attraction is illogical because the human heart cannot be mapped out like a geographical survey of a new land waiting to be discovered. Attraction is fleeting and obsessive and entirely consuming when you are caught up in the throws of being attracted. But watch closely. Parliament and governments of all walks of life, in democratized countries, have erected laws (pun intended) to protect the young and stupid from the mature and wretched. If you permit your attraction to run away with you, often the situation takes hold of your life and takes it away from you, or takes you on a ride to hell. One need only ask politicians who have detonated their careers.
As for myself, I've been attracted to young men in their late teens (19 years) and older men, too, that have a minimum of nine years on me. But now as I've evolved beyond my years, I'm careful not to allow my emotions to run amok and let the physicality of my attraction to control my logical application of living. Of course, that is nothing more than a fanciful statement of almost-fact. If 'he' made my legs turn to jelly, my body quiver, and if he appealed to my intellectuality and was in possession of a reasonable fit and healthy mind and body, I'd happily fall head over heels in lust and set out to possess him. I want it all like everyone else. I realize that I will more than likely not get it all because this is what it means to mature.
We each sill want to feel the passion of attraction.
My place on this Earth cannot be solely about making money or rising up the food chain of success. After all, money can't make your flesh tingle with a touch or warm embrace. Money just helps to ensure that the bed you bought is sturdy enough to withstand your wild thrashing.
If any of this diatribe has made sense to you, may I suggest that you shake your head very hard and re-read this ditty. Attraction is illogical and, for someone like me to have the temerity to write about the reality of attraction, is equally just as illogical because who the hell am I to make sense of the nonsensical.
Today is the first day of Spring! May your lust be sprung in full force and managed with a careful eye.
Attraction is not rooted in logic. In fact, attraction is about pheromones, releasing a chemical attractant that hopefully will influence the behaviour of the other individual, thereby making you more attractive to said person. Truth is that when another person feels an attraction toward you, they don't actually analyze and dissect their attraction; they just know in their mind and heart they feel different because they are truly behaving differently. Too often, I've heard women become disgusted with their male friends when these male friends approaching middle age are beginning to turn their eye to "almost women", what I'd call girls at the age of 18 or under, not quite adults but neither are they children. I, too, have looked upon these men with a disapproving eye, more so if they're chasing after girls under the age of consent. Then their attraction is less about attraction and more about control and taking advantage of the ignorance of the young person. The older and more mature individual is able to exert a kind of influence over the bubble-headed teen and thereby gain a greater sense of control. And the naïve teen is operating at half-mast, without the breadth of life experience to sort through the blarney spouted off by the older person. Age of Consent laws came into effect to ensure that teenagers wouldn't end up in jail, say if an 19 year-old is attracted to 16 year-old. No doubt, however, men would roll their eyes and argue differently, to the effect that all women, both young and older, possess control over them and therefore play a role in impacting their ability to apply reason and logic to the situation.
Again, I call this reasoning a load of blarney, because it is—no if's, ands or buts. I've also argued with platonic male friends, who make feeble attempts to come back at me with, "My body is the reason why this happened! Or, I just wasn't thinking!" To which I reiterate, this too is a load of doggie-doo. We each are equipped with a thinking brain that makes conscious choices. So, say for example, I put a blindfold on a man to render him incapable of eye-balling who is doing what to him. With a blindfold, the man wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a young or old mouth, if a female was busy blowing his horn, any more than he'd know if it the 'she' in question was a human or a chimpanzee, so long as he was receiving good oral pleasure. But take off the blindfold and his eyes are designed to send a visual cue to the brain, the minute he sees what he likes.
We each make conscious choices, but with free-thinking adults (of age), we may not necessarily realize our attraction to another person right away.
Historically speaking, men who notoriously chased and used women to the fullest, while they were able to do so, are the first to want to lock up their 13 year-old daughter to avoid men like themselves. Hypocrisy is part of the package of attraction in this regard. Some of my gay friends, who are pretty much as blunt as they come on this subject, will acknowledge in the gay community that when a gay man hits his 40s, he's considered by younger gay men to be too old for anything, unless he has deep pockets and the young guy is looking for a fair exchange of youth for caretaking. This seems to me to be one half of both: one part attraction and one part economics.
I believe I was an anthropologist in another life. I find the socialization and inherent skills acquired by way of living life, and those taught to us by our parents, to be wholly fascinating. I sincerely believe so long as you are alive and breathing, with a relatively decent pair of legs and a beating heart, you will feel attraction for a person who may not be your type at all. And sometimes, just sometimes, your attraction might even surprise you to the point that you find yourself drawn to someone of the same sex. It has been known to happen, men and women coming to the conclusion later in life that they want to have a go with someone of the same sex just to be able to experience love from the other side of the fence. Apparently, and based on what I've read, women become more radical as they age vs men who become more settled as they age. Only, I've learned and accepted now that it's a bit of both for both sexes.
Attraction is illogical because the human heart cannot be mapped out like a geographical survey of a new land waiting to be discovered. Attraction is fleeting and obsessive and entirely consuming when you are caught up in the throws of being attracted. But watch closely. Parliament and governments of all walks of life, in democratized countries, have erected laws (pun intended) to protect the young and stupid from the mature and wretched. If you permit your attraction to run away with you, often the situation takes hold of your life and takes it away from you, or takes you on a ride to hell. One need only ask politicians who have detonated their careers.
As for myself, I've been attracted to young men in their late teens (19 years) and older men, too, that have a minimum of nine years on me. But now as I've evolved beyond my years, I'm careful not to allow my emotions to run amok and let the physicality of my attraction to control my logical application of living. Of course, that is nothing more than a fanciful statement of almost-fact. If 'he' made my legs turn to jelly, my body quiver, and if he appealed to my intellectuality and was in possession of a reasonable fit and healthy mind and body, I'd happily fall head over heels in lust and set out to possess him. I want it all like everyone else. I realize that I will more than likely not get it all because this is what it means to mature.
We each sill want to feel the passion of attraction.
My place on this Earth cannot be solely about making money or rising up the food chain of success. After all, money can't make your flesh tingle with a touch or warm embrace. Money just helps to ensure that the bed you bought is sturdy enough to withstand your wild thrashing.
If any of this diatribe has made sense to you, may I suggest that you shake your head very hard and re-read this ditty. Attraction is illogical and, for someone like me to have the temerity to write about the reality of attraction, is equally just as illogical because who the hell am I to make sense of the nonsensical.
Today is the first day of Spring! May your lust be sprung in full force and managed with a careful eye.
