Blog Dis
Thar she blows!
2024-02-01
Naturally, some posts compel me to digress into the nefarious areas of love and lust and all the in-between goodies that deal with delicious favours. It was an innocent conversation with another person that has inspired me to write this post. When do you blow your man's horn? More importantly, how often should you blow?
Now that I've got your attention 🥳The act of expressing your love, the kind of act which requires you to be selfless and give of yourself is definitely not something every woman (or guy) feels strongly about, nor are some interested in even discussing it. I've known many female and gay men friends who tell me they'll only perform fellatio for their partner when they need to bribe him to do something, or when they've been relegated to the dog house, and want to be forgiven, to be let out. Seems reasonable enough, at least on the surface. How strange too, though. It seems to me that when you enter into a 'thing' with another person, or I shall call it the love-sex-zone, a part of the responsibilities of loving that person is to want to help them to get off because when they feel loved, in turn they're more inclined to express their love to you. Right? I'll not deny the truth, that I love getting some too (though not as long as men might think we want it to last; this body part is super- sensitive). Regardless, it's an integral part of the love-making process bcus from the female perspective, our bodies are designed for pleasure, particularly our sex parts, which, from an anatomical standpoint are loaded with nerve-fibre endings (in excess of 8,000) that run the gamut from the tip of the clitoral bud (that spot on the hood), all the way to the anus. It's true. Our parts are ideal for wild hysterical thrashing in the throws of pleasure.
But returning to my original statement, how do you know when to blow his horn? My preference is for early morning. He's alert, ultra sensitive and ready to go at the drop of a hat. If you perform said act at the end of the night, after perhaps a few drinky-poos, you'll have a hard time ahead of you (pun intended). And if you approach the act at the end of the work day, here again he may potentially be exhausted and feeling frazzled and the exchange is less pleasurable, then it can be, should be. There's also the issue of taste. I watch men closely. I observe their habits, what they eat, what they shouldn't eat and what they drink. If he's a Scotch man, single malt or blended (doesn't matter), blowing his horn all the way is like swallowing a tablespoon of sawdust. The taste is so Gotdamn awful that you'll be turned off going forward. On the other hand, if he's an enlightened man and makes it a point of adding pineapple (fresh is best) to his daily diet, or other forms of citrus liquids into his morning routine, squeezing fresh lemon or lime into hot water, his taste will be sweeter. Seriously.
Suffice it to say, I cannot attest to having posted on my fridge a sheet of tick marks, indicating a tally on the number of men I've pleasured. I'm particularly particular about whose appendage I'm willing to stick into my mouth. I know now that I'm one of those rare women who believes if you enter into a fling, the only way I can expect to receive some reciprocal attention myself is by expressing my willingness to share. Truly, I'm flabbergasted by the number of couples who tell me they never engage in oral at all! And that after five years of living together (worse if married), they give up on oral altogether. Horrifying!
Perhaps this isn't the ideal subject to discuss in a post. But given that in my first and second novels, I've written plenty of saucy scenes, it's only natural for me to delve into some subjects that affect all of us on a deep and meaningful level. There's nothing more potent or immediate than expressing your love for your partner by blowing his horn or in him wetting your whistle. Both of you will feel loved and that love will manifest itself into feeling special. Wouldn't you agree? If you're one of the fortunate, who receives oral every day, then my friend, you are truly extra-lucky. Few of us know what it means to live that opulent life of getting head every day of our lives. Most of us are lucky to see it once a month, maybe once a week. Sadly, the majority only know of these pleasures on their birthdays, often those in a long-term marriages.
Back in 2019, before the pandemic, an author friend of mine (before getting hitched) had held a workshop on 'How to Perform Fellatio', to which I happily attended, to show my support for her, and also because my curiosity got the better of me. I had to attend just to see if there were any new tricks I might learn. I've distilled her wisdom as follows:
a) Do Not push down on our heads!!!! For crying out loud! Seems obvious only it ain't. You're forcing our gag reflex, when you push down on our heads. When this happens our jaw closes, our teeth clamp down. (It also annoys the crap out of us, so control yourself, lest you wish to turn us off from future horn-blowing).
b) If you're feeling less confident, such as when you're just starting out in your relationship, to blow his horn, try practicing on him while he's watching porn. All will end lickety-split. Porn is a great primer in this regard.
c) Introduce eating pineapple into your diet. It will most assuredly change your taste, though I should add here that many refuse to swallow. Period. I knew one woman who'd spit it out every time into a tissue. He didn't seem to mind because he was still being pleasured.
d) This one is mine suggestion: wrap your lips around your teeth; it makes for a firm contact surface and this causes greater friction, thereby increasing his pleasure. And use your other hand to hold most firmly the base of his weapon, as well as your tongue to flick across the frenulum (where the foreskin meets the underside of zee penis) and he'll get an extra charge.
On a side note, and this just in from another woman who admitted to me that her vasectomized husband blows less of a load, "hardly anything", according to her, which is a fact I hadn't yet learned, until most recently. This is my new standard going forward, vasectomized men. Yay!
So, my sage advice is to pucker up, swallow and lick your way to Heaven, at least once a week. And as you do, know that you're a rare breed amongst the throng of the oral dead.
Now that I've got your attention 🥳The act of expressing your love, the kind of act which requires you to be selfless and give of yourself is definitely not something every woman (or guy) feels strongly about, nor are some interested in even discussing it. I've known many female and gay men friends who tell me they'll only perform fellatio for their partner when they need to bribe him to do something, or when they've been relegated to the dog house, and want to be forgiven, to be let out. Seems reasonable enough, at least on the surface. How strange too, though. It seems to me that when you enter into a 'thing' with another person, or I shall call it the love-sex-zone, a part of the responsibilities of loving that person is to want to help them to get off because when they feel loved, in turn they're more inclined to express their love to you. Right? I'll not deny the truth, that I love getting some too (though not as long as men might think we want it to last; this body part is super- sensitive). Regardless, it's an integral part of the love-making process bcus from the female perspective, our bodies are designed for pleasure, particularly our sex parts, which, from an anatomical standpoint are loaded with nerve-fibre endings (in excess of 8,000) that run the gamut from the tip of the clitoral bud (that spot on the hood), all the way to the anus. It's true. Our parts are ideal for wild hysterical thrashing in the throws of pleasure.
But returning to my original statement, how do you know when to blow his horn? My preference is for early morning. He's alert, ultra sensitive and ready to go at the drop of a hat. If you perform said act at the end of the night, after perhaps a few drinky-poos, you'll have a hard time ahead of you (pun intended). And if you approach the act at the end of the work day, here again he may potentially be exhausted and feeling frazzled and the exchange is less pleasurable, then it can be, should be. There's also the issue of taste. I watch men closely. I observe their habits, what they eat, what they shouldn't eat and what they drink. If he's a Scotch man, single malt or blended (doesn't matter), blowing his horn all the way is like swallowing a tablespoon of sawdust. The taste is so Gotdamn awful that you'll be turned off going forward. On the other hand, if he's an enlightened man and makes it a point of adding pineapple (fresh is best) to his daily diet, or other forms of citrus liquids into his morning routine, squeezing fresh lemon or lime into hot water, his taste will be sweeter. Seriously.
Suffice it to say, I cannot attest to having posted on my fridge a sheet of tick marks, indicating a tally on the number of men I've pleasured. I'm particularly particular about whose appendage I'm willing to stick into my mouth. I know now that I'm one of those rare women who believes if you enter into a fling, the only way I can expect to receive some reciprocal attention myself is by expressing my willingness to share. Truly, I'm flabbergasted by the number of couples who tell me they never engage in oral at all! And that after five years of living together (worse if married), they give up on oral altogether. Horrifying!
Perhaps this isn't the ideal subject to discuss in a post. But given that in my first and second novels, I've written plenty of saucy scenes, it's only natural for me to delve into some subjects that affect all of us on a deep and meaningful level. There's nothing more potent or immediate than expressing your love for your partner by blowing his horn or in him wetting your whistle. Both of you will feel loved and that love will manifest itself into feeling special. Wouldn't you agree? If you're one of the fortunate, who receives oral every day, then my friend, you are truly extra-lucky. Few of us know what it means to live that opulent life of getting head every day of our lives. Most of us are lucky to see it once a month, maybe once a week. Sadly, the majority only know of these pleasures on their birthdays, often those in a long-term marriages.
Back in 2019, before the pandemic, an author friend of mine (before getting hitched) had held a workshop on 'How to Perform Fellatio', to which I happily attended, to show my support for her, and also because my curiosity got the better of me. I had to attend just to see if there were any new tricks I might learn. I've distilled her wisdom as follows:
a) Do Not push down on our heads!!!! For crying out loud! Seems obvious only it ain't. You're forcing our gag reflex, when you push down on our heads. When this happens our jaw closes, our teeth clamp down. (It also annoys the crap out of us, so control yourself, lest you wish to turn us off from future horn-blowing).
b) If you're feeling less confident, such as when you're just starting out in your relationship, to blow his horn, try practicing on him while he's watching porn. All will end lickety-split. Porn is a great primer in this regard.
c) Introduce eating pineapple into your diet. It will most assuredly change your taste, though I should add here that many refuse to swallow. Period. I knew one woman who'd spit it out every time into a tissue. He didn't seem to mind because he was still being pleasured.
d) This one is mine suggestion: wrap your lips around your teeth; it makes for a firm contact surface and this causes greater friction, thereby increasing his pleasure. And use your other hand to hold most firmly the base of his weapon, as well as your tongue to flick across the frenulum (where the foreskin meets the underside of zee penis) and he'll get an extra charge.
On a side note, and this just in from another woman who admitted to me that her vasectomized husband blows less of a load, "hardly anything", according to her, which is a fact I hadn't yet learned, until most recently. This is my new standard going forward, vasectomized men. Yay!
So, my sage advice is to pucker up, swallow and lick your way to Heaven, at least once a week. And as you do, know that you're a rare breed amongst the throng of the oral dead.
