Blog Dis
"My nights are not full of regrets..."
2025-09-30
D.H. Lawrence penned these words and, if my shoddy memory serves me correctly, I would be paraphrasing by partially quoting the beginning of his famous quote, "I want to experience everything in life and on the journey towards my death, I want to live my life so that my nights are not filled with regrets." [first appeared in a play called The Widowing of Mrs. Holroyd].
In my late teens and early 20s, I went through an intense and utterly enjoyable D.H. Lawrence phase, reading some of his better known novels like Lady Chatterley's Lover, Sons and Lovers, and Women in Love, to include some of his poetry. It's easy to search his poems on Google, to pull up a catalog of what he wrote. His poetry is fine but for me it's his novels that were the steamy, super-charged fiction, that set loins quivering and hearts aflame. His novels upset more than a few of the highbrow, proper ladies in their time, released in the late 1900s. More to the point, Lady Chatterley's Lover was banned for its flagrant depictions of lust between an aristocrat's wife and the grounds-keeper. The book has been adapted to film, over the years, and has received many treatments, most recently the 2022 film version. But my favourite remains the 1981 version with Nicholas Clay, as depicted in the film's official movie poster [at the end of this post].
Men are less inclined to read fiction. Men appear to be more interested in writing fiction. I've read too that the reason why women are more often than not interested in reading fiction is due to our empathy. We women are able to put ourselves in the shoes of characters, to appreciate their predicaments, to feel what the characters are feeling vs male readers who are historically drawn to first-person real-life accounts, historical and scientific works. Does it really matter? High fantasy fiction has changed the landscape with many young male readers gravitating to High Fantasy, which is all about world building, and showcasing a multitude of characters, complex story-telling that captivates. Now, female writers are also into writing high fantasy. I count myself as one in this group. But this sub-sub-genre, High Fantasy, as it falls within the sub-genre of Fantasy (which is in fact a sub-genre of speculative fiction) has traditionally been dominated by male writers, like J.R.R. Tolkien and George R. Martin, as two obvious examples.
Yet, the intention of this post is to highlight the idea of regrets, and whether or not each of us has them, or not, and if so, what would qualify as a regret. Another way to approach this proposition would be to ask someone if they had it within their power to live their life over again, what one thing would they change. A philosophical question, to my mind, about going backwards in time, to change anything in your life, is in itself a form of fantasy. So, if I were to play this quick and easy fantasy game, and to ask myself what one thing would I change from my past, I'd more than likely change my habits with regard to dental hygiene. I say this now because I'm not young and foolish, and haven't been for some time. And given the hell I've endured with some specific dental issues in the last five years, I'd surely change this about my past to ensure that my oral hygiene would be dogmatic, strict and unyielding, like some mad, war-torn commando being ordered to the front lines to win a battle. Dental practices have changed dramatically in the last fifty years, and even the tools of this trade have been modernized; an example would be the plethora of home equipment like a Water Pik to flush out excess particles stuck between your teeth. Personal Care products are worth the money, and if they help, they are awesome. We still cannot do without our dentist. And there will always be people who are terrified of the dentist, and can't even listen to you speak about your dental emergencies or your dental trauma.
However, discussing dental hygiene is boring vs delving into this philosophical question of changing your past, by way of adopting fantastical ideas. So I'm going to give it a shot. To do this, I'll assume that my teeth are flawless and that I won't change my habits to adopt a vigilant approach. My fantasy then would be to be able change how I handled stress in the past, when I was younger, and how I didn't really learn the word 'No' in my 20s. I took on way too much. I labored with University night courses, attending them in-person at Ottawa University, and correspondence courses at Waterloo University, over and above writing short stories, working full-time, studying French five days a week in the early mornings, before work had even begun, playing on a competitive softball team two days a week, to include a practice session each Sunday, as well as studying full-contact Shotokan Karate three days a week in the early evenings. Rarely, would I get home from my long day before 10 PM. I upheld this rigorous schedule for seven years, until my body and brain decided enough was enough, and I experienced a complete burn-out.
Do I have any regrets? Of course I do! Those who tell you they have no regrets are delusional, IMO, because it means they believe their conduct and life choices are perfect, and that they wouldn't change a thing, and this also tells me they are the least likely to reflect on past behaviour. We all have regrets. Regret isn't a bad word. Regret is merely a mature state of mind that is connected to reality. Even the best written character in the world, in fantasy, has regrets and when you slice this apple into wedges, a character with regrets shows that there is a dynamic quality to being human. We sometimes make stupid decisions and act before we have thought it out. We regret. We learn. We move on.
The key isn't to dwell on your regrets but to learn from them. As to dental hygiene, I've always been vigilant but apparently there is a genetic component, so if in your life you are diagnosed with periodontal disease, as I was in late 2022, even the periodontist admitted that it wouldn't have mattered how much I took care of my teeth, my genetics would have led me down this path regardless. I don't regret taking their diagnosis seriously, and acting on it right away vs those who put it off for years, and end up losing all their teeth. I like my teeth. I like keeping them inside my mouth.
And if it is a steamy, lustful Classic novel that you're looking to read, I highly recommend delving into Lady Chatterley's Lover. After which, you can compare the writing of D.H. Lawrence to their many interpretations that have appeared in film.
Reading classic literature is one regret you'll never carry, nor is it a waste of time.
In my late teens and early 20s, I went through an intense and utterly enjoyable D.H. Lawrence phase, reading some of his better known novels like Lady Chatterley's Lover, Sons and Lovers, and Women in Love, to include some of his poetry. It's easy to search his poems on Google, to pull up a catalog of what he wrote. His poetry is fine but for me it's his novels that were the steamy, super-charged fiction, that set loins quivering and hearts aflame. His novels upset more than a few of the highbrow, proper ladies in their time, released in the late 1900s. More to the point, Lady Chatterley's Lover was banned for its flagrant depictions of lust between an aristocrat's wife and the grounds-keeper. The book has been adapted to film, over the years, and has received many treatments, most recently the 2022 film version. But my favourite remains the 1981 version with Nicholas Clay, as depicted in the film's official movie poster [at the end of this post].
Men are less inclined to read fiction. Men appear to be more interested in writing fiction. I've read too that the reason why women are more often than not interested in reading fiction is due to our empathy. We women are able to put ourselves in the shoes of characters, to appreciate their predicaments, to feel what the characters are feeling vs male readers who are historically drawn to first-person real-life accounts, historical and scientific works. Does it really matter? High fantasy fiction has changed the landscape with many young male readers gravitating to High Fantasy, which is all about world building, and showcasing a multitude of characters, complex story-telling that captivates. Now, female writers are also into writing high fantasy. I count myself as one in this group. But this sub-sub-genre, High Fantasy, as it falls within the sub-genre of Fantasy (which is in fact a sub-genre of speculative fiction) has traditionally been dominated by male writers, like J.R.R. Tolkien and George R. Martin, as two obvious examples.
Yet, the intention of this post is to highlight the idea of regrets, and whether or not each of us has them, or not, and if so, what would qualify as a regret. Another way to approach this proposition would be to ask someone if they had it within their power to live their life over again, what one thing would they change. A philosophical question, to my mind, about going backwards in time, to change anything in your life, is in itself a form of fantasy. So, if I were to play this quick and easy fantasy game, and to ask myself what one thing would I change from my past, I'd more than likely change my habits with regard to dental hygiene. I say this now because I'm not young and foolish, and haven't been for some time. And given the hell I've endured with some specific dental issues in the last five years, I'd surely change this about my past to ensure that my oral hygiene would be dogmatic, strict and unyielding, like some mad, war-torn commando being ordered to the front lines to win a battle. Dental practices have changed dramatically in the last fifty years, and even the tools of this trade have been modernized; an example would be the plethora of home equipment like a Water Pik to flush out excess particles stuck between your teeth. Personal Care products are worth the money, and if they help, they are awesome. We still cannot do without our dentist. And there will always be people who are terrified of the dentist, and can't even listen to you speak about your dental emergencies or your dental trauma.
However, discussing dental hygiene is boring vs delving into this philosophical question of changing your past, by way of adopting fantastical ideas. So I'm going to give it a shot. To do this, I'll assume that my teeth are flawless and that I won't change my habits to adopt a vigilant approach. My fantasy then would be to be able change how I handled stress in the past, when I was younger, and how I didn't really learn the word 'No' in my 20s. I took on way too much. I labored with University night courses, attending them in-person at Ottawa University, and correspondence courses at Waterloo University, over and above writing short stories, working full-time, studying French five days a week in the early mornings, before work had even begun, playing on a competitive softball team two days a week, to include a practice session each Sunday, as well as studying full-contact Shotokan Karate three days a week in the early evenings. Rarely, would I get home from my long day before 10 PM. I upheld this rigorous schedule for seven years, until my body and brain decided enough was enough, and I experienced a complete burn-out.
Do I have any regrets? Of course I do! Those who tell you they have no regrets are delusional, IMO, because it means they believe their conduct and life choices are perfect, and that they wouldn't change a thing, and this also tells me they are the least likely to reflect on past behaviour. We all have regrets. Regret isn't a bad word. Regret is merely a mature state of mind that is connected to reality. Even the best written character in the world, in fantasy, has regrets and when you slice this apple into wedges, a character with regrets shows that there is a dynamic quality to being human. We sometimes make stupid decisions and act before we have thought it out. We regret. We learn. We move on.
The key isn't to dwell on your regrets but to learn from them. As to dental hygiene, I've always been vigilant but apparently there is a genetic component, so if in your life you are diagnosed with periodontal disease, as I was in late 2022, even the periodontist admitted that it wouldn't have mattered how much I took care of my teeth, my genetics would have led me down this path regardless. I don't regret taking their diagnosis seriously, and acting on it right away vs those who put it off for years, and end up losing all their teeth. I like my teeth. I like keeping them inside my mouth.
And if it is a steamy, lustful Classic novel that you're looking to read, I highly recommend delving into Lady Chatterley's Lover. After which, you can compare the writing of D.H. Lawrence to their many interpretations that have appeared in film.
Reading classic literature is one regret you'll never carry, nor is it a waste of time.
