Blog Dis
Psychological counselling...
2024-02-27
We each are our own best friends and our own worst enemies. We each have within us the strength and power to heal ourselves, as well as the power to destroy our inner light. Basically, we are the giver and taker of our own happiness and sadness. And yet, our perspectives of our own image are often eschewed by negativity, forget about someone else coming along to throw mud at us. That's where the influence of psychology can lead us down a path of greater enlightenment, providing of course the psychologist isn't a lunatic, or rather to put this in less harsh terms, not altogether off-balance.
Only once in my life did I venture into the world of therapy, to spend time with a psychiatrist, to get to the heart of my troubles, which felt plentiful and seemingly insurmountable at that time. I had thought if I seek the counsel of a professional it would help me to see the light, in terms of getting a handle on my emotions, fueled by irrational fears and worries. On the contrary, I came quickly to the conclusion after only three months of sessions that the therapist had nothing to teach me. Every session, the psychiatrist was invariably interrupted by multiple phone calls; her kids and husband wanting to know where things had been misplaced or what were they having for dinner. She also delivered coaching tips to her kids on how to stop beating up on each other, to include admonishing her older son for being a terrible brother to his younger brother, while insisting, "Stop hitting your brother this minute!" [Here, I should note that the psychiatrist had a thick Indian accent and there's nothing wrong this whatsoever, but it surely added an element of humour, from my viewpoint bcus when I tell the story in first-person I can bring off an Indian-accent affectation convincingly, having traveled into this remarkable country]. So, every time I arrived for a session, we would barely get into it and she would again be interrupted again, and again, and again. It got to the point that I couldn't suppress my laughter. I felt like I was trapped inside a comedy movie and I was the brunt of the joke.
My personal experience with a therapist had proved to me that I wasn't her priority, that I had to make myself the priority, because she was disconnected with every interruption from the reality of our session. The fact was that she just didn't give two hoots and this was my turning point wherein I learned a valuable lesson: don't think for a moment that anyone can truly solve your problems because they're dealing with their own problems, every day, every minute of the hour they're mulling over their personal issues. Does this describe you, at least in some instances? Is self-absorption not the very same activity which occupies your mind, as it does mine? We are not so different. Every morning we rise, our first thought is: How do I feel? What do I have to do first? Maybe the last thought to enter your mind is, "OMG! I need to resolve these problems for this person!" That statement on the other hand, can and often applies to children but then this is why parents are put in charge, to sort out the family issues and their unruly children.
You are an island unto yourself, which is to say every solution to every problem you have is within you insofar that if you build a place of peace inside your mind and heart, forever shall you be protected from the irrational worries and troubles of the real world (hopefully). A psychologist or psychiatrist is ideal if a second or third opinion is of great importance to you, and especially if there exists a gap in communication that you want to heal with a partner by way of building a new bridge of dialogue, one that leads to mutual understanding, such is the aim in couples therapy. A marriage or family counselor can aid in that regard, at least in telling your partner to shut up and just listen while you rant and rave about your beefs. But the inner dialogue that goes on between you and the multitude of your emotions is a territory that is best left to your design and not to the design of someone with a PhD in psychology.
A learned friend of mine, a professor of anatomy, had asked me what I thought of one prominent Canadian clinical psychologist, to which I replied, "I've learned a few things from listening to his YouTube tutorials, particularly the one on the man-child syndrome.... however," I had qualified, "I lump both astrology and psychology together because the first is a romantic language and the second is a highly stylized form of communication, and only those who attain the highest education in this particular field of study can communicate at the highest level using this stylized form." My professor friend had a more truculent take on the subject. "He's a grifter bcus psychology isn't a science." Fair enough; to each his/her own. I believe, however, that those in the field of family counseling have greatly benefitted many families. I simply cannot attest to the efficacy of the psychiatry industry based on the number of people currently in therapy. And here is where the reality of self-help books come into play. I appreciate the relevance of some of these books bcus they're big sellers, catering to a segment of the population that feels at its wits' end. These books have the potential to transform an individual's outlook, their frame of mind. Accordingly to Scientific American Mind magazine, on average we each have up to and exceeding 60,000 thoughts on any given day, but more importantly, many of these thoughts are self-defeating, tearing down our self-image. This fact had saddened me, that the majority of our thoughts do not create a positive image of ourselves.
Maybe each of us could benefit from psychological counseling but I venture to say that your inner medicine man or medicine woman is waiting to be discovered and utilized, providing you're willing to work at creating positive dialogue with your inner self. Don't expect to be healed overnight. You took a lifetime to develop your emotions and mind into the person you've become, so it stands to reason that it will take time to re-train your brain to think differently. Most of us, too, carry baggage from our childhoods, our failed relationships, and defeats in the working world, our forgotten dreams - trauma on some level that has shaped us, changed us for the worse and for the better. Yet, I contend that regardless of how your environment may have shaped you, you possess the power to heal and change yourself.
I was drawn to this subject today because the other week I had spent time in the company of two lovely people, who were only too willing to focus on one issue that was plaguing them: what was lacking in their lives. I felt like a psychiatrist, listening with concern, trying to steer them in a new direction, until I stopped myself and realized they are their own psychologist. I own a futon for a couch in my living room. One side is black and the other a muted, pleasant beige with a pretty floral print. It would seem my habit is to turn over the futon when my mood has shifted, depending on which side best exemplifies my mood. Currently the floral-print is prominent and it's been this way for sometime, which is a good thing. I'm glad that I recognize this behaviour pattern of mine, which means I am dialoguing with myself.
I am my own best listener. I am my own best observer. I am most qualified to be my own counselor. I don't ever answer a text, an email or take a call when I'm dialoguing with myself. This too is also a good thing.
Only once in my life did I venture into the world of therapy, to spend time with a psychiatrist, to get to the heart of my troubles, which felt plentiful and seemingly insurmountable at that time. I had thought if I seek the counsel of a professional it would help me to see the light, in terms of getting a handle on my emotions, fueled by irrational fears and worries. On the contrary, I came quickly to the conclusion after only three months of sessions that the therapist had nothing to teach me. Every session, the psychiatrist was invariably interrupted by multiple phone calls; her kids and husband wanting to know where things had been misplaced or what were they having for dinner. She also delivered coaching tips to her kids on how to stop beating up on each other, to include admonishing her older son for being a terrible brother to his younger brother, while insisting, "Stop hitting your brother this minute!" [Here, I should note that the psychiatrist had a thick Indian accent and there's nothing wrong this whatsoever, but it surely added an element of humour, from my viewpoint bcus when I tell the story in first-person I can bring off an Indian-accent affectation convincingly, having traveled into this remarkable country]. So, every time I arrived for a session, we would barely get into it and she would again be interrupted again, and again, and again. It got to the point that I couldn't suppress my laughter. I felt like I was trapped inside a comedy movie and I was the brunt of the joke.
My personal experience with a therapist had proved to me that I wasn't her priority, that I had to make myself the priority, because she was disconnected with every interruption from the reality of our session. The fact was that she just didn't give two hoots and this was my turning point wherein I learned a valuable lesson: don't think for a moment that anyone can truly solve your problems because they're dealing with their own problems, every day, every minute of the hour they're mulling over their personal issues. Does this describe you, at least in some instances? Is self-absorption not the very same activity which occupies your mind, as it does mine? We are not so different. Every morning we rise, our first thought is: How do I feel? What do I have to do first? Maybe the last thought to enter your mind is, "OMG! I need to resolve these problems for this person!" That statement on the other hand, can and often applies to children but then this is why parents are put in charge, to sort out the family issues and their unruly children.
You are an island unto yourself, which is to say every solution to every problem you have is within you insofar that if you build a place of peace inside your mind and heart, forever shall you be protected from the irrational worries and troubles of the real world (hopefully). A psychologist or psychiatrist is ideal if a second or third opinion is of great importance to you, and especially if there exists a gap in communication that you want to heal with a partner by way of building a new bridge of dialogue, one that leads to mutual understanding, such is the aim in couples therapy. A marriage or family counselor can aid in that regard, at least in telling your partner to shut up and just listen while you rant and rave about your beefs. But the inner dialogue that goes on between you and the multitude of your emotions is a territory that is best left to your design and not to the design of someone with a PhD in psychology.
A learned friend of mine, a professor of anatomy, had asked me what I thought of one prominent Canadian clinical psychologist, to which I replied, "I've learned a few things from listening to his YouTube tutorials, particularly the one on the man-child syndrome.... however," I had qualified, "I lump both astrology and psychology together because the first is a romantic language and the second is a highly stylized form of communication, and only those who attain the highest education in this particular field of study can communicate at the highest level using this stylized form." My professor friend had a more truculent take on the subject. "He's a grifter bcus psychology isn't a science." Fair enough; to each his/her own. I believe, however, that those in the field of family counseling have greatly benefitted many families. I simply cannot attest to the efficacy of the psychiatry industry based on the number of people currently in therapy. And here is where the reality of self-help books come into play. I appreciate the relevance of some of these books bcus they're big sellers, catering to a segment of the population that feels at its wits' end. These books have the potential to transform an individual's outlook, their frame of mind. Accordingly to Scientific American Mind magazine, on average we each have up to and exceeding 60,000 thoughts on any given day, but more importantly, many of these thoughts are self-defeating, tearing down our self-image. This fact had saddened me, that the majority of our thoughts do not create a positive image of ourselves.
Maybe each of us could benefit from psychological counseling but I venture to say that your inner medicine man or medicine woman is waiting to be discovered and utilized, providing you're willing to work at creating positive dialogue with your inner self. Don't expect to be healed overnight. You took a lifetime to develop your emotions and mind into the person you've become, so it stands to reason that it will take time to re-train your brain to think differently. Most of us, too, carry baggage from our childhoods, our failed relationships, and defeats in the working world, our forgotten dreams - trauma on some level that has shaped us, changed us for the worse and for the better. Yet, I contend that regardless of how your environment may have shaped you, you possess the power to heal and change yourself.
I was drawn to this subject today because the other week I had spent time in the company of two lovely people, who were only too willing to focus on one issue that was plaguing them: what was lacking in their lives. I felt like a psychiatrist, listening with concern, trying to steer them in a new direction, until I stopped myself and realized they are their own psychologist. I own a futon for a couch in my living room. One side is black and the other a muted, pleasant beige with a pretty floral print. It would seem my habit is to turn over the futon when my mood has shifted, depending on which side best exemplifies my mood. Currently the floral-print is prominent and it's been this way for sometime, which is a good thing. I'm glad that I recognize this behaviour pattern of mine, which means I am dialoguing with myself.
I am my own best listener. I am my own best observer. I am most qualified to be my own counselor. I don't ever answer a text, an email or take a call when I'm dialoguing with myself. This too is also a good thing.
