Blog Dis
Way, way down low in the bunker...
2026-04-09
Billionaires are burying wealth in bunkers, apparently, or so one headline read, that billionaires are buying up luxury bunkers in preparation for a total and complete societal collapse. This may or may not be a wonderful way to finish off your day, knowing that you don't relate to this category, to be able to own a doomsday bunker. Sounds catchy. Sounds pricey at a mere cost of $300 million. If, however, you have coin falling from the skies straight into your pockets, and you're worth one billion or more, the cost of hundreds of millions will seem like chicken feed.
Question worth asking: Are you ready to buy a pre-made bunker or are you willing to spend the time in your busy billionaire life to design your own? I had this discussion with a friend, over a phone call. We broke it down; how many levels will be required in your bunker to meet every conceivable need?
I'm going to take a stab at this, to begin with a bunker that would equate to a 20-storey building, a bunker built entirely from scratch, buried deep underground that won't readily be noticed on the surface.
So, if by example, one floor in a commercial building is approximately 20 steps high, requiring two sets of stairs at ten steps each, to reach the next level, and each individual floor within this 20-storey building is a minimum of 15-feet high, this works out to a total height of 300-feet or thereabouts. Doesn't seem very high, now does it? But if you were to climb up 20 floors in a commercial building, and get onto the roof, you'd quickly discover that jumping off the roof would result in your death, the instant your skull made contact with the pavement. As well, a floor with a standard height of 15-feet would include structural elements like the floor, ceiling and an HVAC system to circulate, clean the air.
It's important to establish context for our hypothetical bunker. I can't afford to buy one. Heck, I can't afford to buy a place to hide in one but posing a hypothetical scenario costs nothing. Let's do this!
Twenty floors in total would be considered tall in many small cities, working on the basis that there should be plenty of square footage per floor in order for you to build out your bunker your way, to ensure that it's located deep down into the ground, to cover off every imaginable need, based on 16,000 square feet of space per floor, the average for a commercial building.
We're not all billionaires. Never forget, however, that billionaires are people too with thoughts and feelings, and needs like all of us, so drawing up a list of must-haves isn't as difficult as you'd think. This is your bunker. Your fantasy. You get to build out each floor as you please. Know that floor number one is the first line of defense from a blast, as well as intruders who might breach your bunker. This vital, first level will need to be bullet proof, made of impenetrable steel and concrete, rather than wood, and also where the elevator access is located from floor one through floor 20, to include two sets of separate stairwells, in case the elevators stop working. Both elevators and stairwells will have key-card access. Hey, these are billionaires remember, who are not renowned for allowing just anyone into their sanctuary.
Come along with me on this fun ride and keep in mind the first rule of a bunker: don't talk about your bunker 😅
2: Second most important floor: infrastructure to ensure that oxygen levels remain at a constant level between 19.5 to 23.5% minimum. You'll also want to guarantee the purity of your water, to be managed by a filtration system, as well as to house water-tanks, and plenty of them. But again, you've got 16,000 square footage of space per floor. Think about the size of your house, to give you context. Generators and back-up generators will be located on this floor, to guarantee the stability of your bunker-energy grid, and each floor will connect to this floor via pipes for washrooms, and the electrical and cooling systems.
3 & 4. Living and sleeping quarters. Sixteen thousand square feet per floor gives you loads of wiggle room to build out bedrooms, living rooms, kitchens, washrooms, reading rooms and to strategically light the area, given that there are no windows. This amount of square footage would be equivalent to six average sized-houses, or one very large mansion with multiple rooms, or even small apartments.
5. Food supply. Easy access is essential, so at the very least this floor should either be incorporated in part into your living quarters, for an immediate supply, with the bulk of supplies underneath this floor. You'll store dried goods, staples like grains, pastas, flour, sugar and coffee, dried fruits, dehydrated veggies, spices and legumes. Ok, maybe some junk-food too, such as the essential staple of chocolate under lock and key.
6. Hydroponic floor: fresh vegetables, fruit gardens, greenery, seeds, cultivation supplies, all to be grown without the use of soil, and therefore necessary to be connected to the water system, located on floor two.
7 & 8. Entertainment: Flat-screens, lap-tops, pool tables, musical instruments, pinball, bowling alleys, basketball court, and a running track elevated on the 8th floor, plus every imaginable form of entertainment designed to keep you from losing your freaking mind, such as a mini go-cart track for you and the kids, and a casino for the addicted who lack impulse control. You'll have a supply of every known movie ever made, in every conceivable foreign language, software games galore, music, poker tables, darts, just about any and all games, board games too. Plus there'll be a theatre stage to hold live concerts in your bunker.
9. Exercise floor: Equipped with treadmills, elliptical, stationary bikes, rowing machines, ski erg, dumbbells, barbells and plates, specialty bars, weight benches - everything used in gyms to stay fit, or you can always climb the stairwells, cross over to one side of any floor, and take the second stairwell, back to the bottom, and start over. You'll need ultra-sound equipment and the like for recovery, owing to potential injuries. Without an area devoted to exercise, to burn off your energy, there's a chance that one of you will go off the deep-end, go rogue on your bunker-mates to reduce the bunker population.
10. Medical floor: Laboratory equipment, incubators, surgical equipment, operating room, pharmaceuticals, psychedelics, blood supply, plasma, treatment facility to handle illness, assuming your bunker-mates are not interested in taking over by taking you out, as well as isolation pods if someone becomes seriously ill.
11. Freezer storage: an area devoted solely to holding many years' worth of food, as well as to be connected to the electrical supply, housed on this floor. There can maybe be a faux snowboard hill, to pretend that you're living on the surface of the Earth, in which case this floor will be equipped with a snow-making machine.
12. Supplies room: Every supply that'll allow you to replace broken down parts on any floor: electrical, generator, water filtration and hardware supplies, tools, wood, saws, glue, paper, sewing and building materials, should you need to separate some persons from harming each other, which will require you to re-model some floors.
13. Recycling. Waste isn't pretty but it's a fact of life, so you'll need a processing center to manage and recycle waste, to compost food scraps, coffee grounds, and even to recycle your urine, feces, and water. This also means that each floor will have a garbage shoot that is connected to this floor.
14. Meeting rooms: Your billionaire is in charge, given that the billionaire put up the cash to build this fucker in the first place. Will there be a democracy? I should think not, given that Billionaires are rarely noted for their egalitarian approach to managing their billions. A small courtroom as well can be housed on this floor. If you've read Lord of the Flies, you'll know that when humans are left to their own devices, anarchy will erupt and power struggles will ensue; hence the need to mete out justice, to those who break the rules. This means the rules have to be set in advance, and agreed upon. You can't just invite anyone willy-nilly and hope for the best.
15. Holding cells: Do you kill someone outright if they kill someone in your bunker or do you hold them for a period of time until they've served their sentence? Humans are unpredictable. No one really knows how they'll behave until they're trapped deep down below the surface of the earth. Half this floor is cordoned off, and locked up tight, to house various armaments and ammunition. There's no real good reason for having guns in your bunker, unless you're the one with the final say, and need to assert your authority. If this is the case, you'll have to form a team of enforcement personnel, trained to be able to rely on them to carry out their role without becoming corrupted by power. Good luck with this, by the way. It's been shown time and again that rot begins from within, and some of the worst autocratic leaders in the world were taken out by their royal guardsmen.
16. Meditation: We're getting lower and lower in the bunker. There needs to be an area that is purely about peace. No music. No exercise equipment, just a well-designed area that is organic in appearance, developed for peace and relaxation, and staffed by a team of psychologists to help you work through your insanity. Because again... your buried deep underground. There'll be sauna and sun rooms, and even a faux-beach too, all bright and sunny, with sand that has grains like white refined sugar. You'll feel like you're outside with a fake breeze, thanks to fans built into the ceiling, and there'll be gin and tonic carts coming around to help you to unwind.
17. Telescopes: A sanctified area where only the ones in charge may utilize, to peer up top, onto the surface, to periodically check the status, view the level of devastation. These telescopes will have access to the surface, placed at far distances from the entrance, so as not to draw attention to the bunker. And this means you'll need to incorporate this into your design, to build ancillary tunnels, through which the telescopes can be reached and repaired. These routes will also serve as escape routes to the surface, in the event everyone ends up attempting to kill each other. HaHaHa! Are you noticing a pattern?
18. Alcohol and Fermentation floor: One would think that this floor would be closer to the top, perhaps right underneath the hydroponic floor and yet, given the proclivity that some have to start a fight, after a few drinks, it seems more practical to locate this floor far down below, where its access can be tightly restricted.
19 & 20. Animals: dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, reptiles, and tame rodents. One would think that in the event of a total societal collapse, humans will fight to save their pets who also have a right to live (this is obvious) but you'll have to view your bunker like an ark, and you'll more than likely need plenty of space to save as many animals as possible, some of whom will breed on their own, and some will have to be closely managed, like dairy cows, pigs, chickens, goats and geese. For some exotic collectors, they'll want their poisonous snakes, though I doubt you'll consider keeping cockroaches. If science has proven anything, it's that the cockroach will likely survive a nuclear blast.
20. The last floor, which will be fully outfitted with finished cement walls, though it shall be left empty, to allow build-out for what might crop up in the future. A flex space is key because you just never know, you know? Maybe you'll want to store motorcycles along with gas for when the time comes to leave.
Finally! We've come to the end of our bunker. It's time to determine who'll be invited into your bunker. Your family is first up, to potentially be followed by a select group of friends and their family members. But you'll also need professionals like engineers, IT support, mechanics, doctors, nurses, electricians, horticulturalists to manage your green room, and some with knowledge on growing cannabis (to help everyone to chill out) and hemp (sew new clothing). Who else? Chef? Hairstylist? Lawyer? Military leader? The list is endless, or rather it can be, until you whittle it down. Will you carry out medical examinations before allowing anyone in? Will you have the time? Will you implement a minimum and maximum age restriction, though perhaps you shouldn't. When dealing with Billionaires their idea of fair play will surely not be yours. Do you invite nubile girls and boys, not related to your family?
Do you even want to survive a total societal collapse? It's been my experience that humans are driven to survive, to excel in their chosen field, and this herein is the central problem of close-quarters living: some will work cooperatively, while others will want to rule like a tyrant, to force everyone into their sphere of influence and make them bow down to them.
This image is real, incidentally: a $300-million dollar bunker, located in the United Kingdom, showing a split-level area for living quarters, available only to the super-rich. It's striking to look at, though keep in mind you're still living below the surface. It won't be the same as living the way we do now. Most of us like to believe that we're pretty special, and adaptable, able to handle pretty much anything, until the shit really hits the fan, and then we all find out just how capable or brave we are, and even then this is questionable.
I'm not in possession of billions, and therefore I don't worry about such stilly things as surviving a societal collapse. It was sure fun, however, imagining how to build out a bunker.
Question worth asking: Are you ready to buy a pre-made bunker or are you willing to spend the time in your busy billionaire life to design your own? I had this discussion with a friend, over a phone call. We broke it down; how many levels will be required in your bunker to meet every conceivable need?
I'm going to take a stab at this, to begin with a bunker that would equate to a 20-storey building, a bunker built entirely from scratch, buried deep underground that won't readily be noticed on the surface.
So, if by example, one floor in a commercial building is approximately 20 steps high, requiring two sets of stairs at ten steps each, to reach the next level, and each individual floor within this 20-storey building is a minimum of 15-feet high, this works out to a total height of 300-feet or thereabouts. Doesn't seem very high, now does it? But if you were to climb up 20 floors in a commercial building, and get onto the roof, you'd quickly discover that jumping off the roof would result in your death, the instant your skull made contact with the pavement. As well, a floor with a standard height of 15-feet would include structural elements like the floor, ceiling and an HVAC system to circulate, clean the air.
It's important to establish context for our hypothetical bunker. I can't afford to buy one. Heck, I can't afford to buy a place to hide in one but posing a hypothetical scenario costs nothing. Let's do this!
Twenty floors in total would be considered tall in many small cities, working on the basis that there should be plenty of square footage per floor in order for you to build out your bunker your way, to ensure that it's located deep down into the ground, to cover off every imaginable need, based on 16,000 square feet of space per floor, the average for a commercial building.
We're not all billionaires. Never forget, however, that billionaires are people too with thoughts and feelings, and needs like all of us, so drawing up a list of must-haves isn't as difficult as you'd think. This is your bunker. Your fantasy. You get to build out each floor as you please. Know that floor number one is the first line of defense from a blast, as well as intruders who might breach your bunker. This vital, first level will need to be bullet proof, made of impenetrable steel and concrete, rather than wood, and also where the elevator access is located from floor one through floor 20, to include two sets of separate stairwells, in case the elevators stop working. Both elevators and stairwells will have key-card access. Hey, these are billionaires remember, who are not renowned for allowing just anyone into their sanctuary.
Come along with me on this fun ride and keep in mind the first rule of a bunker: don't talk about your bunker 😅
2: Second most important floor: infrastructure to ensure that oxygen levels remain at a constant level between 19.5 to 23.5% minimum. You'll also want to guarantee the purity of your water, to be managed by a filtration system, as well as to house water-tanks, and plenty of them. But again, you've got 16,000 square footage of space per floor. Think about the size of your house, to give you context. Generators and back-up generators will be located on this floor, to guarantee the stability of your bunker-energy grid, and each floor will connect to this floor via pipes for washrooms, and the electrical and cooling systems.
3 & 4. Living and sleeping quarters. Sixteen thousand square feet per floor gives you loads of wiggle room to build out bedrooms, living rooms, kitchens, washrooms, reading rooms and to strategically light the area, given that there are no windows. This amount of square footage would be equivalent to six average sized-houses, or one very large mansion with multiple rooms, or even small apartments.
5. Food supply. Easy access is essential, so at the very least this floor should either be incorporated in part into your living quarters, for an immediate supply, with the bulk of supplies underneath this floor. You'll store dried goods, staples like grains, pastas, flour, sugar and coffee, dried fruits, dehydrated veggies, spices and legumes. Ok, maybe some junk-food too, such as the essential staple of chocolate under lock and key.
6. Hydroponic floor: fresh vegetables, fruit gardens, greenery, seeds, cultivation supplies, all to be grown without the use of soil, and therefore necessary to be connected to the water system, located on floor two.
7 & 8. Entertainment: Flat-screens, lap-tops, pool tables, musical instruments, pinball, bowling alleys, basketball court, and a running track elevated on the 8th floor, plus every imaginable form of entertainment designed to keep you from losing your freaking mind, such as a mini go-cart track for you and the kids, and a casino for the addicted who lack impulse control. You'll have a supply of every known movie ever made, in every conceivable foreign language, software games galore, music, poker tables, darts, just about any and all games, board games too. Plus there'll be a theatre stage to hold live concerts in your bunker.
9. Exercise floor: Equipped with treadmills, elliptical, stationary bikes, rowing machines, ski erg, dumbbells, barbells and plates, specialty bars, weight benches - everything used in gyms to stay fit, or you can always climb the stairwells, cross over to one side of any floor, and take the second stairwell, back to the bottom, and start over. You'll need ultra-sound equipment and the like for recovery, owing to potential injuries. Without an area devoted to exercise, to burn off your energy, there's a chance that one of you will go off the deep-end, go rogue on your bunker-mates to reduce the bunker population.
10. Medical floor: Laboratory equipment, incubators, surgical equipment, operating room, pharmaceuticals, psychedelics, blood supply, plasma, treatment facility to handle illness, assuming your bunker-mates are not interested in taking over by taking you out, as well as isolation pods if someone becomes seriously ill.
11. Freezer storage: an area devoted solely to holding many years' worth of food, as well as to be connected to the electrical supply, housed on this floor. There can maybe be a faux snowboard hill, to pretend that you're living on the surface of the Earth, in which case this floor will be equipped with a snow-making machine.
12. Supplies room: Every supply that'll allow you to replace broken down parts on any floor: electrical, generator, water filtration and hardware supplies, tools, wood, saws, glue, paper, sewing and building materials, should you need to separate some persons from harming each other, which will require you to re-model some floors.
13. Recycling. Waste isn't pretty but it's a fact of life, so you'll need a processing center to manage and recycle waste, to compost food scraps, coffee grounds, and even to recycle your urine, feces, and water. This also means that each floor will have a garbage shoot that is connected to this floor.
14. Meeting rooms: Your billionaire is in charge, given that the billionaire put up the cash to build this fucker in the first place. Will there be a democracy? I should think not, given that Billionaires are rarely noted for their egalitarian approach to managing their billions. A small courtroom as well can be housed on this floor. If you've read Lord of the Flies, you'll know that when humans are left to their own devices, anarchy will erupt and power struggles will ensue; hence the need to mete out justice, to those who break the rules. This means the rules have to be set in advance, and agreed upon. You can't just invite anyone willy-nilly and hope for the best.
15. Holding cells: Do you kill someone outright if they kill someone in your bunker or do you hold them for a period of time until they've served their sentence? Humans are unpredictable. No one really knows how they'll behave until they're trapped deep down below the surface of the earth. Half this floor is cordoned off, and locked up tight, to house various armaments and ammunition. There's no real good reason for having guns in your bunker, unless you're the one with the final say, and need to assert your authority. If this is the case, you'll have to form a team of enforcement personnel, trained to be able to rely on them to carry out their role without becoming corrupted by power. Good luck with this, by the way. It's been shown time and again that rot begins from within, and some of the worst autocratic leaders in the world were taken out by their royal guardsmen.
16. Meditation: We're getting lower and lower in the bunker. There needs to be an area that is purely about peace. No music. No exercise equipment, just a well-designed area that is organic in appearance, developed for peace and relaxation, and staffed by a team of psychologists to help you work through your insanity. Because again... your buried deep underground. There'll be sauna and sun rooms, and even a faux-beach too, all bright and sunny, with sand that has grains like white refined sugar. You'll feel like you're outside with a fake breeze, thanks to fans built into the ceiling, and there'll be gin and tonic carts coming around to help you to unwind.
17. Telescopes: A sanctified area where only the ones in charge may utilize, to peer up top, onto the surface, to periodically check the status, view the level of devastation. These telescopes will have access to the surface, placed at far distances from the entrance, so as not to draw attention to the bunker. And this means you'll need to incorporate this into your design, to build ancillary tunnels, through which the telescopes can be reached and repaired. These routes will also serve as escape routes to the surface, in the event everyone ends up attempting to kill each other. HaHaHa! Are you noticing a pattern?
18. Alcohol and Fermentation floor: One would think that this floor would be closer to the top, perhaps right underneath the hydroponic floor and yet, given the proclivity that some have to start a fight, after a few drinks, it seems more practical to locate this floor far down below, where its access can be tightly restricted.
19 & 20. Animals: dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, reptiles, and tame rodents. One would think that in the event of a total societal collapse, humans will fight to save their pets who also have a right to live (this is obvious) but you'll have to view your bunker like an ark, and you'll more than likely need plenty of space to save as many animals as possible, some of whom will breed on their own, and some will have to be closely managed, like dairy cows, pigs, chickens, goats and geese. For some exotic collectors, they'll want their poisonous snakes, though I doubt you'll consider keeping cockroaches. If science has proven anything, it's that the cockroach will likely survive a nuclear blast.
20. The last floor, which will be fully outfitted with finished cement walls, though it shall be left empty, to allow build-out for what might crop up in the future. A flex space is key because you just never know, you know? Maybe you'll want to store motorcycles along with gas for when the time comes to leave.
Finally! We've come to the end of our bunker. It's time to determine who'll be invited into your bunker. Your family is first up, to potentially be followed by a select group of friends and their family members. But you'll also need professionals like engineers, IT support, mechanics, doctors, nurses, electricians, horticulturalists to manage your green room, and some with knowledge on growing cannabis (to help everyone to chill out) and hemp (sew new clothing). Who else? Chef? Hairstylist? Lawyer? Military leader? The list is endless, or rather it can be, until you whittle it down. Will you carry out medical examinations before allowing anyone in? Will you have the time? Will you implement a minimum and maximum age restriction, though perhaps you shouldn't. When dealing with Billionaires their idea of fair play will surely not be yours. Do you invite nubile girls and boys, not related to your family?
Do you even want to survive a total societal collapse? It's been my experience that humans are driven to survive, to excel in their chosen field, and this herein is the central problem of close-quarters living: some will work cooperatively, while others will want to rule like a tyrant, to force everyone into their sphere of influence and make them bow down to them.
This image is real, incidentally: a $300-million dollar bunker, located in the United Kingdom, showing a split-level area for living quarters, available only to the super-rich. It's striking to look at, though keep in mind you're still living below the surface. It won't be the same as living the way we do now. Most of us like to believe that we're pretty special, and adaptable, able to handle pretty much anything, until the shit really hits the fan, and then we all find out just how capable or brave we are, and even then this is questionable.
I'm not in possession of billions, and therefore I don't worry about such stilly things as surviving a societal collapse. It was sure fun, however, imagining how to build out a bunker.
