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An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away, which is potentially a better scenario than the adage of an apple a day keeps the doctor away, though this is true too, according to many medical doctors.

Orgasms come in all forms, and are not limited to the standard idea of the human orgasm, when our bodies gyrate in the throes of pleasure. I've known persons who orgasm regularly when sitting down to a meal. Each bite represents pure unadulterated pleasure.

Most recently I had a long conversation with a new financial advisor, a call that went on for one hour, during which the advisor talked about her experience in emigrating to Canada. She came over from Mumbai. The mere mention of India inspired me to regale to my new advisor my odyssey in India, which is a country of contradictions, as wide as the Grand Canyon, and which is also the kind of experience that you should consider in your lifetime, before you die. I came to the conclusion half a dozen countries ago that you can't call yourself a traveler unless you've traveled to India. If you do go, one day, know that the cuisine is out of this world. Each region prepares well-known dishes differently. It all depends on the fresh spices used in their dishes.

Well, when me and my tour group (our New Zealand tour leader, who spoke fluent Hindi), as well as two women (one from England, the other Australia) began our adventure in India, we weren't prepared for the utterly delicious range of food. We ate Indian cuisine, until the cows came home, pretty much every day of our tour, three times a day. Our leader began to tease me non-stop. Every time I ate the food, I expressed my approval and pleasure with what he said sounded like having a culinary orgasm. "Oh my God! Oh my God! This food has got to be the best I've ever tasted!" Only later, for me to eat another meal, in another different region, after which I'd make the same declaration, and again during dinner. It got to the point that my tour-mates were waiting for me to orgasm. Orgasm I did.

There are more varieties of naan in India that you can imagine. Naan is eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner and there are stuffed naan options too, such as cheese, potatoes, spinach, minced meat, to name a few. Master chefs who bake naan, called Tandoorchi, will work with clay ovens that heat up to 480 degrees, standing all day in full-sleeves, sticking their arms into the open oven, to slap a loaf of naan direct to the oven sides. The naan comes out hot and extraordinary.

I love food, and I loathe food because food is beyond delicious, if prepared properly, and therefore irresistible. I love meals that I prepare for myself with tender-loving care but the downside to loving meals in a foreign country means that when you return to your home country, the same ethnic cuisine being served according to your country's standards, in my case Canada, will taste sub-par. When I came home after gallivanting in India for close to one month, I went to an Indian restaurant and I was devastated. The food was horrible! I didn't have my orgasm, much as I had hoped. My pleasure button wasn't pushed, not even a teensy bit and I realized that the joy of appreciating a good orgasm when I enjoy an Indian meal is fleeting, just like having a real one, either through the act of self-pleasure or when consenting adults press flesh.

There's willingness to experiment with food and then there's willingness to experiment in bed.

A willing partner is one who doesn't have to be enticed with wine, expensive gifts or false-promises. A willing partner doesn't insist that you dance with them for the entire night, to prove that you're willing to spend hours upon hours doing something together, so they'll finally believe that you've earned the right to be with them, in an intimate sense (though dancing wildly to let your hair down is a form of sexual enticement). A willing partner is one who resonates on the same frequency as you. Sometimes this will gravitate to an immediate connection, to waste no time tearing off each other's clothes. At other times, you may find yourself wanting to slow down the willingness, to be able to establish a more meaningful connection. This is damn fine too, yet I must also recognize that some men and women don't want to wait, not a bit, and this is where it could potentially lead to issues, to initiate a cascading affect on achieving that pinnacle, the pleasure we all need and which we all seek, even when we don't know it ourselves.

Men and women are different, which is a silly and obvious statement. I mean to say that men are 100% more likely to achieve an orgasm through intercourse with a new partner or an known one than are women. I'm not taking this statement lightly. I've read enough science articles on sexuality to know that it's the friction for men that does it for them, and how some older men have mastered the art of control over their bodies, to be able to enjoy the friction, while still being able to make their body last as long as possible, to ensure that their partner has an orgasm before them or with them. This isn't always and necessarily the case either. I've personally experienced both situations of quick and dirty, or a slow build up, those who last and those who pop and flop.

Whereas with women, our bodies are best described as complicated, at least seemingly. It's true on the one hand that it takes us longer to achieve the Big O with a new partner, even with long-time friction, and which is why the emotionally developed minds of men, those who've read up on the anatomy of women, learn early on that manual stimulation, before penetration, is the ideal way to begin a session, with a new partner, and also with a long-term partner.

Bring off your partner, and you'll have fewer issues enjoying the friction, as I like to call it, where he gets off and she potentially gets off a second time. Rush through the act, and the man will more than likely get off but not her. This will leave her questioning why she had spent the time with the guy in the first place, and how intimacy was a failure. I guarantee you she won't forget. It's called foreplay, by the way, because it's supposed to precede the penetration. I also believe in after play too.

Getting it on, and getting it off are the ultimate goals in both cases. It's potentially patronizing for me to list the techniques that some partners use to ensure mutual satisfaction all around. There are plenty of books that can guide you in this regard. Watching porn videos together may help to lubricate the attraction but ultimately these are over-the-top representations of partners achieving satisfaction and are rarely based on real-life. Many men are desensitized to developing technique because for them choking a partner is viewed in porn as sexy and has been hyped up, misleading guys to believing that choking will surely take their partner where they need to go. Let me state upfront that this couldn't be further from the case. Women don't fantasize about a potential partner based on being choked by him. We really want a slow-burn, a build up to passion, and it begins in the brain. It works the same for men and women, for without that brain being ignited on fire, whether through conversation, reading sexy poetry to each other, listening to music, or just a gradual and deliberate session of heavy petting, the intimacy again will stall or die out.

One young guy, with whom I communicate, had recommended a movie to me, which took me weeks before I finally got around to seeing it, called 'Babygirl' starring Nicole Kidman as the older woman and Harris Dickinson as the young guy. If you've been reading my blog, then you'll know that I've seen many movies, not all of which are romantic but some are downright sexy. I don't watch porn at all, in fact, though some movies I've watched, most notably French, could be classified as soft-porn, much like my first series of six novels.

Babygirl surprised me. I don't get surprised by much, least of all from movies. What caught me off guard were the director's techniques of building momentum, how she used foreshadowing in the form of sexy, raw music that whenever it was played, you knew it was leading to a raw moment between the two characters. Another technique was matching action with a scene, to create a metaphor, such as when the characters are dancing in a night-club, to coincide with the raw music, like a dance of wild wolves gathering with one purpose, to unleash their hidden natures. The music, scored by Cristobal Tapia de Veer, reminded me of Indigenous throat singing. Not quite the same but the deep breaths elevated the pending passion.

It's a story of an older woman with a younger guy, what is not typically reflected in modern culture. For the most part, we generally see the opposite of an older man with a young woman. What a breath of fresh air when I see an actual story of an older woman being seduced by a young man vs the standard take of the older adult luring the young adult. But there was no predation depicted here. The power balance oscillated back and forth, with him making the first advances, and her pushing him off, for ethical reasons. Nicole is a seasoned actress, and Harris an obviously younger actor who still came across confidently on screen. Their scenes together didn't fizzle, rather they were real and intimate, long before the intimacy begins. He's tentative at first, until he finds his confidence, and she's hesitant and unbelieving until convinced he has what it takes — the time and willingness to bring her off, just as I've highlighted at the beginning of this post.

I don't want to give too much away about this movie. It didn't get good reviews but rarely will I ever allow this to prevent me from watching a movie. It's worth the time. You might come away with a similar impression as I did insofar that Kidman's character is the one with all the power, and how one of her colleague's gently yet firmly points out to her that women, after all, when in positions of power, are not so different from men in positions of power. When someone older in a position of power falters, and gives into their passions, they'll end up getting what they deserve, as do we all, and that they're not above succumbing to the delicious build-up, the intimacy, the willingness, the orgasms.

It will surprise you too, as it did me, how the husband responds to their affair, played with subtlety by the talented and gorgeous Antonio Banderas. It's difficult to watch how such a strong Spanish actor like Antonio can play a cuck, and it wasn't what I had expected. He plays it well, regardless. The younger man and he exchange fisticuffs, and tussle, yet the older character, the husband, actually ends up learning from the young man, when he shows him his compassion.

As to the movie, in one sense it shows that there's an art to understanding what pushes an individual to want to delve deeper with you, to dig so deep that their joy in achieving orgasm means they've allowed themselves to bear themselves, to let go of control and to live in the moment, only after they've allowed time for the build up, a dance of teasing, like foreplay.