Blog Dis

Some days the expressions of disdain, the downright unnecessary meanness, can feel like a waterfall of venom is spitting out of the mouths of those online, non-stop. I do not exaggerate. It also occurs in person.

In far too many instances, these angry people, filled with volumes of venom, speak degradingly whenever a woman expresses her experiences about the online dating scene. It's not pretty, I gotta tell ya. I took a step back from the dating scene a few years back and much to my surprise, not only have I survived but in many ways I've thrived. Things have changed, though. The social network platforms have usurped dating APPs to a degree. The one difference between these options, and this isn't my imagination, is that on social networks the misogyny has become a cesspool. I'm left wondering as to why. Are the single men of this world actively derailing themselves or are they intent on pushing away as many nubile ladies as possible because (and I quote), 'men are done with women'?

Women take a big chance to interact with men in person, much less to do so online. The statistics don't paint a pretty picture of lovey-dovey. The numbers of women who are stalked, assaulted, and murdered is alarming, still in this day and age in the 21st Century. And men don't like it when organizations like the FBI release statistics, indicating that 91% of victims of assault and r*pe are women. One in four women will experience intimate partner violence (IPV) where this number is one in nine, when it comes to men and IPV, often at the hands of a same sex partner. So, women have the option of turning to online dating, which is an obvious alternative that is less of an in-your-face scenario. This, too, however, is rife with issues, mainly disingenuous representation. Either men portray themselves as single, when they're married, or they portray themselves as much younger, when in fact their photo is 20 years old, or their values are traditional, when in reality they're shagging multiple women, or the other obvious one is that some men are cat-phishing women online to extract out of them whatever it is that feeds their needs.

Women, too are not angels either and will utilize online social networks to make connections, to promote their OnlyFans pages, and this applies to the guys as well.

Online dating isn't a new animal with a new hairdo. We've been exchanging pictures of ourselves, along with a carefully crafted list of our likes and dislikes for decades now, when dating sites like Lava Life (what I used to call Larvae Life), Plenty o' Fish and OKCupid were the hottest spots, and these in turn have been usurped by the introduction of mobile APPs like Hinge, Tinder and an oldie but a goodie Grindr. Finally, there are dating APPs like Raya, Tinder Select, The League and Inner Circle for celebrities, private and exclusive and no doubt costing plenty more. Yet, these avenues are unable to address the issue of male hatred toward women. When I refer to a general term of hatred, I'm referring to those men who are passive-aggressive control freaks, and who'll invariably fallback on their tried and true methods of playing the dominant, at the get go. They'll pretend to be conciliatory and open and available, all the while suppressing their venom, until such as time as the woman displays genuine love.

I've watched the YouTube tutorials of guys sharing tips and tricks with other young guys on how to gaslight the women in their lives or how to weaponize their incompetence in the home, to avoid responsibility. The worst of these tutorials are young guys now promoting how to respond to rejections from women, by way of punching, kicking and various other forms of coercion and intimidation. This is a deeply disturbing trend that promotes violence, as well as condones immaturity in young men, who should rather turn to the advice and words of an older man, a role model, who has a successful relationship or marriage.

I've read the online horror stories. I've my own stories to share as well, some of which are hysterical, given that when online dating took off, guys wouldn't think twice of hitting you up with a jerk-off video. The online market for them was merely an avenue to get their rocks off with anonymous women, without these women having access to their essential details. When it happened to me the first time, I was working in a satellite office, and my female colleague had literally fell to the floor in hysterical laughter, as I played for her what one man thought was the ideal kind of resume, his engorged c*ck ready to blow. To this day, whenever I bring up this incident, it still eclipses her in giggles.

Many men present themselves as anonymous, and to this I can't outrightly disagree because women do the same. But when it comes to social situations, such as young people enjoying a few bevvies with girlfriends in a bar, a special kind of new bar was opened in the US for women only. Men piled on with venomous intent, citing their outrage that women would dare show their contempt for men by way of creating a safe space for themselves, just for women, in order that these ladies can let their hair down without fear of having their drink spiked. Comments on the video had posted another video of one man refusing to be denied entry, and demanding to be let in. Yet, in our man's world, the concept of private men's clubs has been around for over 300 years.

There's a reason why slip-covers for drinks are heavily used, as well as why some bars have created special names for drinks that are code-words for servers to help, when a woman is feeling pressured by a man, after she's expressly asked him to leave her alone. We all know, however, that not all men like to hear the word no. It tweaks their sense of pride, their ego that forbids them to accept being denied.

I'm not telling lies. A friend's boyfriend recently shared with me that his young daughter, who'd only just graduated from Uni, had attended a Uni party with her boyfriend and ostensibly 'other' friends. Much later in the evening, when the party revved up, her boyfriend noticed that two Uni guys were leading his girlfriend out the main party room, after which he followed. Long story short, he deduced that his girlfriend must have been slipped something in her drink because she was completely out of it, when he took the time to question her, and realized she had no awareness of what was happening, or what could have potentially happened.

The sedative effects of Rufi are tried and true, a date-r*pe drug that's been around since the 1970s, when it was first developed as a prescription medication for severe insomnia. You would be hard-pressed to find someone who isn't aware of this drug but for those who are not familiar, it's clinical name is Rohypnol and it goes by the nicknames of 'roofy' or 'rufi'. It's date-r*pe qualities didn't actually come into being until the early to mid-90s. Yet, here we are coming around the corner to the end of the 2020s decade, given that we're at the mid-point of 2026, and the usage of this diabolical chemical concoction doesn't appear to be losing steam. 🤮🤢🤬

Venom is the only explanation I can come up with for this level of treachery, when a young man or older man has to drug a woman (or a man) in order to satisfy their sexual urges but which are really all about control, to assault and abuse. The next morning, if the assaulted individual doesn't visit the hospital to insist that the emergency staff complete a r*pe-kit, lab results proving the usage of Rufi will fade within 24 hours. Yes, this kind of assault happens to men, too, by other men. Predominantly, however, the highest percentage of drug-facilitated sexual results (DFSA) occur to women, in the range of 85%-95% in reported cases. The US Department of Justice also cites that 300,000 cases are reported each year... each year!

If this doesn't describe venomous hatred toward women, what more evidence is required?

I'm shocked by the high range of numbers of reported cases, in spite of understanding that this doesn't take into consideration the number of cases that go unreported every year. I would like it very much if some superior being in charge could explain to the general public the rationale for this level of venom coming from men, toward another human being. It can only mean that objectification is at play here, working on the individual's mind, to block out the reality that they are humans themselves. Their behavior, to my mind, also means that they must have to step out of their human suit in order to be a predator, specifically a sexual predator.

Hatred, or venom, is worn like a cloak of invisibility, more easily online, allowing the cowards of this world to behave as though there's no recourse for such foul discourse. I, too, am often left feeling bereft when I read about this, and more so when I experience it personally online. On the smallest of scales, know that anyone who stalks you in public is committing the act of harassment, according to the judiciary description of stalking; this includes stalking online, when young girls and boys are duped into sexting with someone who they believe is within their age group, only later to be blackmailed for money. My local news highlighted this phenomenon multiple times, to raise awareness, to avoid the tragedy of losing a teenager to unaliving themselves, out of fear of humiliation.

Online is the worst of it, especially from those who hide behind false identities, accounts that don't feature their photo or real name. I get it. Hiding one's identity is worthwhile if you're someone of prominence, and the fear too of being outed by the public for your depraved thoughts is also very real. But venom? Really? You're online so that you can spout off your venom toward women? Or, you need to expunge venom from your mind by zeroing in on the opposite sex because its trendy? Cowards!

I've been more active on social networks since the pandemic, as I've noted in the past, and this is due to having worked from home for the better part of week, where I was able to access my accounts in the morning, lunchtime and toward end of day. Prior to this, I pretty much ignored my social network pages, notwithstanding posting updates about my writing and novel promotion, or when I'd be attending events locally, to invite friends. My attitude has changed as a result of being more accessible online, when I engage with strangers. Now, I view the whole range of social networks as an informal social experiment, rather than platforms that allow people to connect or to share content. Oh yes, there's plenty of sharing going on, and there's plenty of connections being made, such as those participating in the writing community, by way of sharing each other's pages. Of greatest prominence, however, are incels, spurred on by Red Pill accounts that communicate at such a furious rate, that each post no matter how outrageous and one-sided, is by far the fastest form to spread misinformation. Many of these Red Pill men are married, whose spouse isn't aware. Nonetheless, I'll throw down my opinions as a woman, and if by chance these are contrary to the post, then the volley of venom will be spit out like a pit of hungry vipers.

There are many pages whose profile is non-descript, so that no one can tell if they're male or female. What I've observed is that when insults about personal appearance begin to fly, it is 99% of the time a man, hiding behind a fake profile, just so that he can release his venom, to tear down another person's appearance. One Executive in the USA had threatened to come to a woman's home to r*pe her, in response to her post criticizing jokes being made on X about wanting to r*pe kids. This individual's profile picture was shown but his name was fake. Regardless, the woman tracked him down, and sent a screenshot of his post to his employer, who in turn fired him.

Would you consider this warranted? And would you have gone through the trouble to track someone down, if they had allowed their rage to overcome their good sense?

If you are a proponent of free speech, as am I, then the fundamental foundation of this most heralded of human rights is to be free to express yourself. Lately, and with greater frequency, I'm seeing posts from White Christo-Fascist Nationalist leaders speaking about the toxicity of women; how women are out of control, dressing provocatively, refusing to want to have babies, aborting too many babies, and the worst of it is that these individuals are proposing the only way forward into the future is to remove all of women's rights, to return to a traditional time when the only vote worth casting was to be made by the husband, on behalf of the whole family. Allow me a moment to hurl my cookies into the waste-basket. 🤮🤮🤮

The worst of these blathering, imperious males is Dale Partridge, someone whom I wouldn't lose one wink of sleep if that cut under his nose were to be sewn up. Free speech suggests that Partridge is within his right to spout off. But anyone, be it man or woman, who preaches about the removal of rights for one segment of the population should themselves have all of their rights removed. Dale Partridge keeps four buckets next to him at all times: one is for White Males (to represent supremacy; men who don't doubt their ownership of rights), another is for Women (to be oppressed in all areas), the third is for Non-Whites (also to be oppressed and dehumanized) and finally the last and fourth bucket is for his own sh*t, that he may fling his excrement at anyone willing to listen.

Beware of the righteous for they are quick to condemn anyone who doesn't obey them. These individuals have bestowed on themselves the power and belief of God who is [apparently] guiding them, which gives them carte-blanche authority to behave in any manner needed. I don't think I'll ever stop wretching.

Anne Dickson, a psychologist and best-selling author, sums it up best. "We live in a world that's been shaped by one half of humanity (men) with disastrous consequences... the patriarchal things about violence, revenge, competition and hatred of vulnerability— objectivism is making people into objects... Men are not less capable of being loving than women but this is the way it's been structured... the whole other part of humanity as been eclipsed. Can you say in your heart of hearts that if women had an equal part in shaping this world that it wouldn't be different?"

I say yes! If women had been part of helping to shape humanity, it surely would be a less violent and venomous world.

To all those young men who know they want children, find yourself a young woman who also wants to have kids, rather than force an antiquated, toxic ideology on all women that our entire purpose, and only purpose, is to have children and to obey our husband.

Women will not go backwards, despite whatever new laws are being introduced into legislative bodies.

As to the men online, and those connecting in person, who need to continue to spit venom, to spray it like a diseased reptile in the act of defending itself, women are not your whipping-posts. The harsh reality is that the human species is the only species whose males are the natural mates of women but who are also their natural predators. And, as to the Dales of this world, who denounce women, he could also learn a thing or two about distinguishing between anger, boundaries and connection, rather than to promote the ridiculous notion that the only way men can be truly happy is to remain fully in control by micro-managing everything single thing a woman can do.

Raise your sons to respect all of life, not just their own needs and pleasures, and surely not their aims to reign supreme.