Blog Dis
When every last illusion is shattered...
2026-07-28
Illusions and delusions are not one and the same. An illusion tricks the senses, a misrepresentation to your eyes or it can also be a form of cognitive dysfunction, such as when you operate on a false belief.
Whereas, a delusion is an unshakable belief that isn't based on reality, typically viewed as a mental state of disorder. I've had my illusions and my delusions, what some might call delusions of grandeur. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm tricking my own eyes with an illusion or if my delusions are blinding my good sense. The jury is still deliberating.
Do you remember what age you were when your illusions were shattered? By this, I mean to ask when did you realize that your deeply rooted psychological perceptions were nothing more than shortcuts, to allow you to go about your day, to soothe yourself that you're truly loved and protected or that you're thought of only in the highest of terms by colleagues, friends and family?
These are just a handful of some of the wonderful illusions that we embrace because it allows us to live easier, to believe our alliances with partners, friends or colleagues are sound and permanent ones. We're quite adept at deluding ourselves, to believe these illusions are steadfast, and will not succumb to the test of reality and time, which comes from living.
The love that children are raised to believe in and which is ostensibly supposed to be received without prejudice from parents is by far the biggest illusion. Yet, ironically this illusion is as normal as breathing. We need to be able to hold faith that our parents have our best interests at heart, from the start, that their role as our legal guardian meant we shouldn't have to watch our backs, that we could count on their love to never waiver. Parents, too, have illusions and one of their biggest failings is to think that they treat each child (if there's more than one) all the same. Parents have favorites, and they're not readily aware of it, even when it's pointed out to them that they show greater favoritism toward one child over the others. Parents will deny this adamantly. Our parents are there to stand on guard for us, to help us make a smooth transition into adulthood. Only this isn't the case for those whose childhood was a bumpy ride. There are an innumerable number of reasons why this might be the case: physical or emotional abuse, drug use, alcoholism, and abandonment, to name a few.
A recognized connection through a familial marriage is an example of extended family. One of mine had made a sarcastic quip to me some weeks back, to say that "We came from the trauma generation," and it made me laugh because I recognized myself, and my colorful upbringing. Often online you'll see posts lamenting on what was ideal about the 60s, 70s and 80s, in terms of our cozy childhood, and how we were more free and easy with less constraints. True. We were able to enjoy an unfettered childhood. Our parents didn't behave like the helicopter or bulldozer parents of today. My mom had zero issues with booting us kids out of the house, to order us not to return until end day. She needed a break from us, and we needed a break from her.
We were freer back then because we didn't at this point in time in technological development have a digital leash, a mobile phone, that allowed our parents or our partner to track us. Now, and when I hear teens speak, they are either disconnected from their reality by zoning out with phones, or they express how much they're annoyed by their parents, and how they can't wait until college to get away from them. Conversely, I hear from parents how they strive to develop a rapport with their teen, only their son or daughter shuts them out, and shares nothing. Parents aren't told by their teens when they've had their hearts broken or when they've failed an important test. Parents are only approached when their teen needs money or a ride.
The parent-child illusion is a paradox, which is even trickier. On the one hand, a parent is continuously behaving like a parent toward their child, teen or young adult by way of telling them what to do, how to do it, and why to do it, or not to do it, all the while the parent wants them to make choices like an adult who reasons, rather than to behave reckless. Teenagers and young adults, on the other hand, are born with a default setting to be completely unaware, at times intensely stupid, and incapable of surviving alone for any length of time without support from their parents, yet they know everything, more than their parents.
Sounds familiar? 😂
The first illusion to go is the belief that you're viewed as precious, that you'll always be wanted by your teens or young adults, your partner, siblings, friends or colleagues, unless of course the individual doing the wanting is in need of something right away from you. Usually, this might mean money or pro-bono work.
The second illusion to go is the belief that your partner or young adults cannot live without you, that you are indispensable and how they hang onto your every word as a form of wise counsel. I don't have enough fingers on both hands to count the number of times I've heard a married person state they'll purposely avoid talking about their problems with their spouse. Husbands admit too that their wives seem to not really care about their problems, while wives lament about how he doesn't listen or when he comes home at the end of the work day, he avoids all communication. However, when it's time to get together with another couple, to connect with friends, each spouse will come alive.
The third illusion to go is this silly notion that you 'know' your friends, siblings and colleagues inside and out, especially if you've spent years in their company, engaging in various activities, to know that you can rely on them when the chips are down. However, put you and friends or colleagues in a dangerous situation, where your well-being may potentially be in peril, and watch how quickly one of these individuals will put their life as the top priority, over yours, and more so if staying alive means ditching you. It's nothing personal, right? Of course it's personal! If you're left behind, knowing you needed help, you'll discover quickly that you didn't know the individual you thought you knew.
These are the top illusions which are destined to get shattered over time. This bitter pill may rub you the wrong way. Maybe it will give you some sense of peace to know that illusions are made of glass. Their purpose is to allow the light to shine through, to cast pretty shadows that dance and sparkle on the surface of the walls, while you navigate the trials and tribulations of being a success. There's nothing wrong with wrapping yourself in illusions. We each do so. We each cannot help ourselves. Our illusions are a reflection of innermost ourselves, despite their commonality.
All these illusions, every single one, will be shattered. It's a gut-wrenching experience when it's someone you love or when it's someone that you believed from your toes to the top of your heard that you knew them, that they had your back, until they chose not to do so. We only have to look at the train wreck of failed marriages, and young adults who no longer speak to their parents, or to siblings, or whenever an employee has been ejected from a work situation feeling disgruntled, despite having devoted years to them.
Our illusions cannot be put back together again, no matter what variety of super-glue you use to stick them together. Once these illusions have been blown to smithereens, you're no longer the same.
Then there are delusions and while we don't embrace them as fervently as we do our illusions, for sure our delusions grow sturdy roots in our heads. One of the biggest delusions of them all is in believing that what you have to impart to the world will be regarded as awe-inspiring and ground-breaking, that it'll be the first of the first, and in no way has your idea or grand plan come before you in any shape or form. Art is often accused of being derivative. To a degree, I have to begrudgingly agree. Artists must exist in this state of mind, to re-assure themselves that their art is original. When you write, as I do fantasy novels, I won't read any novel in the same genre, to avoid the chance that the author's writing style will bleed into my own. I need to write on the basis that my phrasing has something different to offer. Surely, when I release a new novel, I remind myself that no one else has written their novel or story in my distinct style, to mirror my story, unless it's being plagiarized.
You may from time to time express an ideology that is a hit, a viral sensation for a period of time, and which is picked up by millions of followers, or you may create a stunning visual that is genuinely eye-catching, or to re-work a catch-phrase, or to re-shape an opinion that others may not necessarily know of and they in turn will share it as though it's on a whole new level. But this phase too shall pass, which is the intrinsic nature of delusions—flimsy beliefs that pass in the night like two ships lost in the dark on the choppy seas, when poor navigation allowed you to discover your delusions in the first place, to take these delusions a step further and allow them to flourish.
It's a delusion of the highest order to believe that we, as creators, scientists, critical thinkers, are some form of heralded second-coming of genius, just the right reflection that humanity needs. Know that the veil will be stripped away and the truth will be revealed that you stood on the shoulders of giants who came before you, as did they, as others will come after you, standing on your shoulders. After all, we are all just another artist, rife with flaws and regrets. Once the delusion has been wrestled, you'll still have to battle the detractors in the midst who'll argue against your so-called genius or your special brand of creativity, just for the sake of doing so, and more so if they are motivated by envy.
I am undecided if having lost my illusions is worse or better than letting go of my delusions, or maybe there isn't a difference. I can only attest to my unwavering belief that I will continue to write, to perfect my craft, and to pay no mind to those moments when I feel myself slipping into a new illusion or delusion. Nothing will stop me, and you have the presence of mind and power to adopt the same attitude. Pursue your art, science, critical thinking with resolute determination and know this attitude isn't an illusion or a delusion. And may your illusions and delusions never collide. May you always know the difference between the two.
I shall leave you now by sharing a witty cynicism from an Irish playwright, "The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary." [Oscar Wilde; 1854-1900]😂😘😉
Whereas, a delusion is an unshakable belief that isn't based on reality, typically viewed as a mental state of disorder. I've had my illusions and my delusions, what some might call delusions of grandeur. Sometimes I can't tell if I'm tricking my own eyes with an illusion or if my delusions are blinding my good sense. The jury is still deliberating.
Do you remember what age you were when your illusions were shattered? By this, I mean to ask when did you realize that your deeply rooted psychological perceptions were nothing more than shortcuts, to allow you to go about your day, to soothe yourself that you're truly loved and protected or that you're thought of only in the highest of terms by colleagues, friends and family?
These are just a handful of some of the wonderful illusions that we embrace because it allows us to live easier, to believe our alliances with partners, friends or colleagues are sound and permanent ones. We're quite adept at deluding ourselves, to believe these illusions are steadfast, and will not succumb to the test of reality and time, which comes from living.
The love that children are raised to believe in and which is ostensibly supposed to be received without prejudice from parents is by far the biggest illusion. Yet, ironically this illusion is as normal as breathing. We need to be able to hold faith that our parents have our best interests at heart, from the start, that their role as our legal guardian meant we shouldn't have to watch our backs, that we could count on their love to never waiver. Parents, too, have illusions and one of their biggest failings is to think that they treat each child (if there's more than one) all the same. Parents have favorites, and they're not readily aware of it, even when it's pointed out to them that they show greater favoritism toward one child over the others. Parents will deny this adamantly. Our parents are there to stand on guard for us, to help us make a smooth transition into adulthood. Only this isn't the case for those whose childhood was a bumpy ride. There are an innumerable number of reasons why this might be the case: physical or emotional abuse, drug use, alcoholism, and abandonment, to name a few.
A recognized connection through a familial marriage is an example of extended family. One of mine had made a sarcastic quip to me some weeks back, to say that "We came from the trauma generation," and it made me laugh because I recognized myself, and my colorful upbringing. Often online you'll see posts lamenting on what was ideal about the 60s, 70s and 80s, in terms of our cozy childhood, and how we were more free and easy with less constraints. True. We were able to enjoy an unfettered childhood. Our parents didn't behave like the helicopter or bulldozer parents of today. My mom had zero issues with booting us kids out of the house, to order us not to return until end day. She needed a break from us, and we needed a break from her.
We were freer back then because we didn't at this point in time in technological development have a digital leash, a mobile phone, that allowed our parents or our partner to track us. Now, and when I hear teens speak, they are either disconnected from their reality by zoning out with phones, or they express how much they're annoyed by their parents, and how they can't wait until college to get away from them. Conversely, I hear from parents how they strive to develop a rapport with their teen, only their son or daughter shuts them out, and shares nothing. Parents aren't told by their teens when they've had their hearts broken or when they've failed an important test. Parents are only approached when their teen needs money or a ride.
The parent-child illusion is a paradox, which is even trickier. On the one hand, a parent is continuously behaving like a parent toward their child, teen or young adult by way of telling them what to do, how to do it, and why to do it, or not to do it, all the while the parent wants them to make choices like an adult who reasons, rather than to behave reckless. Teenagers and young adults, on the other hand, are born with a default setting to be completely unaware, at times intensely stupid, and incapable of surviving alone for any length of time without support from their parents, yet they know everything, more than their parents.
Sounds familiar? 😂
The first illusion to go is the belief that you're viewed as precious, that you'll always be wanted by your teens or young adults, your partner, siblings, friends or colleagues, unless of course the individual doing the wanting is in need of something right away from you. Usually, this might mean money or pro-bono work.
The second illusion to go is the belief that your partner or young adults cannot live without you, that you are indispensable and how they hang onto your every word as a form of wise counsel. I don't have enough fingers on both hands to count the number of times I've heard a married person state they'll purposely avoid talking about their problems with their spouse. Husbands admit too that their wives seem to not really care about their problems, while wives lament about how he doesn't listen or when he comes home at the end of the work day, he avoids all communication. However, when it's time to get together with another couple, to connect with friends, each spouse will come alive.
The third illusion to go is this silly notion that you 'know' your friends, siblings and colleagues inside and out, especially if you've spent years in their company, engaging in various activities, to know that you can rely on them when the chips are down. However, put you and friends or colleagues in a dangerous situation, where your well-being may potentially be in peril, and watch how quickly one of these individuals will put their life as the top priority, over yours, and more so if staying alive means ditching you. It's nothing personal, right? Of course it's personal! If you're left behind, knowing you needed help, you'll discover quickly that you didn't know the individual you thought you knew.
These are the top illusions which are destined to get shattered over time. This bitter pill may rub you the wrong way. Maybe it will give you some sense of peace to know that illusions are made of glass. Their purpose is to allow the light to shine through, to cast pretty shadows that dance and sparkle on the surface of the walls, while you navigate the trials and tribulations of being a success. There's nothing wrong with wrapping yourself in illusions. We each do so. We each cannot help ourselves. Our illusions are a reflection of innermost ourselves, despite their commonality.
All these illusions, every single one, will be shattered. It's a gut-wrenching experience when it's someone you love or when it's someone that you believed from your toes to the top of your heard that you knew them, that they had your back, until they chose not to do so. We only have to look at the train wreck of failed marriages, and young adults who no longer speak to their parents, or to siblings, or whenever an employee has been ejected from a work situation feeling disgruntled, despite having devoted years to them.
Our illusions cannot be put back together again, no matter what variety of super-glue you use to stick them together. Once these illusions have been blown to smithereens, you're no longer the same.
Then there are delusions and while we don't embrace them as fervently as we do our illusions, for sure our delusions grow sturdy roots in our heads. One of the biggest delusions of them all is in believing that what you have to impart to the world will be regarded as awe-inspiring and ground-breaking, that it'll be the first of the first, and in no way has your idea or grand plan come before you in any shape or form. Art is often accused of being derivative. To a degree, I have to begrudgingly agree. Artists must exist in this state of mind, to re-assure themselves that their art is original. When you write, as I do fantasy novels, I won't read any novel in the same genre, to avoid the chance that the author's writing style will bleed into my own. I need to write on the basis that my phrasing has something different to offer. Surely, when I release a new novel, I remind myself that no one else has written their novel or story in my distinct style, to mirror my story, unless it's being plagiarized.
You may from time to time express an ideology that is a hit, a viral sensation for a period of time, and which is picked up by millions of followers, or you may create a stunning visual that is genuinely eye-catching, or to re-work a catch-phrase, or to re-shape an opinion that others may not necessarily know of and they in turn will share it as though it's on a whole new level. But this phase too shall pass, which is the intrinsic nature of delusions—flimsy beliefs that pass in the night like two ships lost in the dark on the choppy seas, when poor navigation allowed you to discover your delusions in the first place, to take these delusions a step further and allow them to flourish.
It's a delusion of the highest order to believe that we, as creators, scientists, critical thinkers, are some form of heralded second-coming of genius, just the right reflection that humanity needs. Know that the veil will be stripped away and the truth will be revealed that you stood on the shoulders of giants who came before you, as did they, as others will come after you, standing on your shoulders. After all, we are all just another artist, rife with flaws and regrets. Once the delusion has been wrestled, you'll still have to battle the detractors in the midst who'll argue against your so-called genius or your special brand of creativity, just for the sake of doing so, and more so if they are motivated by envy.
I am undecided if having lost my illusions is worse or better than letting go of my delusions, or maybe there isn't a difference. I can only attest to my unwavering belief that I will continue to write, to perfect my craft, and to pay no mind to those moments when I feel myself slipping into a new illusion or delusion. Nothing will stop me, and you have the presence of mind and power to adopt the same attitude. Pursue your art, science, critical thinking with resolute determination and know this attitude isn't an illusion or a delusion. And may your illusions and delusions never collide. May you always know the difference between the two.
I shall leave you now by sharing a witty cynicism from an Irish playwright, "The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary." [Oscar Wilde; 1854-1900]😂😘😉
