Blog Dis

We are fond of demarcation lines, to separate and part the ways, as though there's no associative link to be made between one and the other. I see this plenty enough whenever men throw out opinions about the behavior of women, who according to them, have lost their place in modern society, and are out of control.

Let me say thank you for this assessment, which I take to infer that we've made progress for ourselves. Let me also state that women love it to bits when men offer up for mass consumption their opinions on women, no doubt just as much as men appreciate women passing on their opinions on men.🤣Who's better at it? Who's in an ideal position to judge either sex? A bit of both, actually.

Now that I have that out of the way, I shall continue.

Ahem... the obvious question worth posing: who knows more about women? Men or women? Here is where context is important. As a woman I've never engaged in a romantic relationship with a woman, and this is perfectly fine with me. Nor do I feel like I've missed out on life because I haven't. But because I've never been in a relationship with a woman, this doesn't mean that I'm not entitled to express my views on the behavior of women within the context of a relationship with a man. Seems reasonable enough.

I'm a woman, after fall, and one who has worked with women for decades, who has a mother, sister, niece, aunts, girlfriends, all of which implies that I'm able to imagine what it means to date a woman, given that I've been the woman in a relationship with men. I've seen the results from the sidelines, a periphery view of behavior, when in public or mixed company. It's all about observational skills, the ability to read people, their facial expressions and body posture, as well as what's not being said. Watching couples interact is a form of entertainment, more so if you're one of the singles in a group. Here you're not worried about what your partner is thinking of you, as you interact with others. You're essentially free to be you. When it comes to a couple, however, each is ever mindful of how their partner will respond to their behavior.

It's a gross generalization to state that women are highly territorial about their men, when around other women. [I believe I just said this regardless😉], while men are less so because they pretend not to notice if one of their guy friends is taking a shine to their wife or girlfriend. There's a high probability that men are also doing the same to their guy friends, to secretly ogle a wife or girlfriend. Women, on the other hand, won't hide their disdain, while men will laugh it off. I don't regard it as feminine to behave this way, any more than I regard it as masculine. What exactly does masculine mean now? According to the manosphere, it means a man is meant to be in charge, the bread-winner, the ruler of the house, who gets to come and go as he pleases, while she's a silent partner and needs to obey his lead. We're witnessing in real time the slow decline of the Red Pill manosphere. We're also living the reality of increasing numbers of women who are going it alone, able to pay their own way, able to acquire power and wealth.

This post is intentionally circuitous, by the way, but the aim is to discuss how men view femininity.

So what exactly is femininity? Is it still an old-world concept of how a woman is expected to dress, act, behave all prim and proper, and how to speak and react? And once it's been figured out by men the true nature of femininity, then women can be placed in their rightful role, to support her man. I don't possess the perspective of a man or his mind. I can only speak to the reality of my experiences, that many men have demonstrated to me how they're the least able to regulate their emotions. Therefore, it's poppycock to suggest that he alone is apparently in a better position to articulate opinions on the definition of femininity. There's a level of presumption at play here, when either sex assumes the other's role, to know what each wants in a woman or a man, and this also applies to same-sex couples.

Don't even bother trying to tell a man what he should think, any more than a man wants to told by a woman what to think.

Yet, when it comes to women in a world where we've been kept down for centuries, a fact which is born out in the annals of history—documented and tracked, dissected and discussed until the cows come home... Well, the subject continues to be carefully deflated by some sectors of male society. These men go out of their way to convince modern-day women that we never had it any better, before we were ruined by feminism. This is like being told by men in positions of power that women should be happy to accept what men give us and have given us, such as the privilege of serving them, to be a dutiful wife, to give freely of our labor for our entire lives, in marriage vs what privileges and power men give to themselves.

Imagine any man in a position of wealth and power being told that his earnings had to be turned over to his wife, and that his freedoms were now controlled by a female hierarchy, and that his access to medical care and higher learning were no longer available, unless approved by a group of powerful women. To add insult to injury, these decisions would be solely arrived at and agreed upon by an all-female committee, without the contribution of men, to help decide their own fate. Men would start World War III over this, yet this is the precise scenario women have faced for centuries.

Most recently, I exchanged views on one lengthy IG post from a man with a bone to pick. He proudly called out the behavior of modern women as toxic, rude and unruly, to shame us for daring to belittle their partners, and how he had no intention of tolerating it. To that I can't disagree, the part about not wanting to accept toxic behavior. I posted in return one comment to the effect of that women have put up with this kind of behavior for centuries from men. The institution of marriage for hundreds of years was the one and only occupation that women could choose, to be a wife, even if they didn't want to walk down this aisle because it was a lock on their future, a life sentence that blocked them from moving freely forward!

Feminism is femininity.

The man was quick to fire back, how I had obviously misunderstood the difference between femininity and feminism. Ahem, a third time, just to hammer home the notion. Femininity is feminism and feminism is femininity and the twain have met, shook hands, and settled on a direct course, to move toward the future. Modernity takes no prisoners. Our feminine natures have matured, rather than to be the exotic birds kept in cages with a one-sided view, from the perspective of men. So if you, now reading this blog, were to ask, "Well just how have women changed? Just how has femininity been toxified by feminism?" Firstly, I'd like to offer an historical chronology, to let you digest at your leisure. Let us begin...

The Victorian Era (19th Century):

* Roles were split, placing men in the public sphere, to work and women in the private domestic sphere.

* The "Sweet Woman" in the house, where femininity was defined by husbands with the three 'S's, as I like to call them: submissive, subservient and silent—to be passive and morally pure, and of a delicate nature.

* Limited Rights where women couldn't vote, nor could women own property during or after marriage, and had limited access to higher education.

Early 20th Century and World Wars:

* First wave of suffrage, where feminism fought and won legal rights to vote, to own property, and women were able to step into public life.

* Fashions evolved in the roaring 1920s, introducing the "flapper", discarding tight corsets, and being able to be seen in public with short hair, to carry on with active movement. Imagine!

Late 20th Century (Second and Third Waves)

* The 1960s and 70s introduced birth control (the pill) and women took control of their reproduction and careers, tearing down discrimination in the workplace, though not entirely because the ceiling is still intact.

* Modifying the notion of motherhood, where cultural views shifted away from a wife solely being a domestic servant, on top of motherhood, to instead open doors to professional ambition.

* Multiplicity where Third Wave feminism broadened the narrow stereotypes, to allow women to be both strong and sexual, as well as powerful professionals without having to sacrifice womanhood.

Now that we're fully on track with the 21st Century, given that 25 years have already passed, women are contemporary in their lives, in their views, and are able to blend traditional caring traits with their ambition, to be resilient while taking ownership of leadership roles. You can no longer take feminism out of femininity, any more than you can remove women from the future. Of course, consumerism and our digital age and cultures, have taken a hard bite, with women feeling intense pressure to stay eternally young. We're seeing this with men, too, in the form of looksmaxxing, how men and women are wholly concerned with online identities.

And so, if I am to return to the original reason for this post, based on the Instagram thread of one man, I understood his viewpoint. He was indirectly placing blame on men that came before him, their behavior in the past negatively impacting his relationships. He did so without coming right out to admit that he didn't want toxic male behavior to have sway over his future relationships, that he isn't personally responsible for the treatment other men before him have doled out, such as a woman's father, ex, brother. This is a valid point. He's entitled to his opinion, and this isn't an inaccurate statement.

Is it wrong to state that men learned their behavior from their fathers, and every one of their role models that came before them? If, as in many households, the mother broke her back, bending over backwards to ensure that her son's needs were met, without laying any responsibility at her son's feet, then every women that comes along in the life of this man, who enters into a relationship with him, will have to contend with this level of expectation, that women are here to uplift, to subordinate her interests over his, rather than work together as a team with one vision.

I get it now. When a man states online that he wants a wife who is willing to step into the role that his mother provided to him, he is viewing every woman in front of him as a version of his mother. Whereas, I've seen and understood the opposite of this, from the perspective of being a woman: that every woman doesn't want to be her mother, who had fewer options, fewer avenues to pursue, and who had no choice but to step into the role of her mother before her, grandmother and so on.

Our modern age, 21st Century, is producing women who are soft and strong. Nobody wants to be treated poorly, hurt, taken advantage of and used. If ever you hear a man state that "I'm done with women," let him be. He'll eventually figure it out, that women are able to support themselves, and are not looking to be saved. We've learned the hardest lesson of them all, that men aren't interested in saving women from other men because it's easier for them to look the other way, and to retort with, "Not all men!"

Women now focus on character vs whether or not he'll be a consistent provider.

This is the one area that needs to change. All the good men out there need to challenge the small 1% of men who violate women. Statistics don't lie. 1 in 3 women are subject to intimate partner violence vs 1 in 10 men. Comparatively speaking, men don't have a history of centuries being pigeon-holed and abused by women, notwithstanding how men abuse each other. Until this occurs, men need to step off from their casual use of adjectives like "radical" or "toxic" to qualify their description of femininity.

I view the demarcation in this manner. There are two umbrellas: masculinity and femininity. Under each umbrella, there are two groups: men and toxic men as there are women and toxic women. Each is free to define themselves in whatever manner they choose but kindly remember the opposite sex will do likewise.

Regrettably, the man deleted my comments on his IG post, rather than continue our dialogue. If he had, I would have asked him, "Are you at all concerned about having your rights to vote removed?" Women should be concerned, which is the fundamental difference between us both. Women view feminism as merely feminism, an ongoing purpose to pursue ownership of womanhood, something men continue to want to wrestle away from us, to include even the definition.

Femininity is feminism.