Blog Dis
The art of coaxing
2024-05-09
She pulled her hands out of the hot, soapy water and looked at me with the sincerity and seriousness of a woman who'd just had her last nerve stepped on with a heavy boot. "He wants to have sex but he doesn't want to have to work for it to get it... I mean come on! If he wants to coax me into having sex he should clean the bathroom or do the laundry."
I was somewhat taken aback when I heard these words. My friend was honest in trying to tell me that her husband's idea of coaxing her to want to have sex and her idea of being coaxed by him to have sex are as uncommon as penguins are to salamanders. She went on to tell me that his idea of coaxing her was in fact to rub his penis up against her backside as she did the dishes because this clearly would entice any woman to rip off her top and offer herself. Obviously, the man was mistaken. His wife knew exactly what would put her in the mood and it was being relieved of the endless duties to take care of a house and kids, which means the husband very often comes third or fourth in the list of things to take care of; herself being last.
"Truly?" I asked, "this is how he gets you in the mood?"
"Yup," she said, finishing up the dishes. "One time he vacuumed the entire house without having to be asked so we had oral sex. He's an idiot because he never made the connection to do the same again."
We women are regarded as curious beings, in the eyes of many men, to be sure. But then so too are men; quixotic beings, in the eyes of many women. Coaxing a certain attitude out of anyone, be it your wife or husband, you'd think would be an easy task, particularly if you've been married for any length of time. You'd almost want to believe that you know the person so well it would be a simple thing to ignite their fire and interest. The above situation, however, clearly demonstrates that this isn't the case at all. Us women want you to work for our lust and not necessarily to work us into a lather between the sheets but more appropriately, to work up a sweat taking out the garbage or washing the kitchen floor.
I wonder if you asked a man how do I coax you into bed, to have sex, what would he say...
"Hey, babe! Take off your top and parade nude around the living room and I'm good to go."
Can it be this simple? Maybe? But coaxing a friend to do something for you when they, too, have an innumerable number of priorities is an even more delicate balancing act, in the same manner that I feel compelled to manage when it comes to lining up a proofreader for novel seven. I express my gratitude after the job is done, which means a fine-dining restaurant, a bottle of fine-red wine, to include some cocktails down the road, and to know that I'll select a specific friend who loves to read, and who has no intentions of sparing my feelings. Truth is always best to seek in a proofreader, the first ARC (advance reader copy), as far as I'm concerned. My feelings are irrelevant when it comes to the logic of a manuscript, and catching that absolutely last error is the job of a proofreader, for which I'm grateful.
Ah yes, feelings and coitus. Feelings are the railroad tracks on which the train of lust rides, where men and women, men and men, and women and women are concerned. If your railroad tracks haven't been properly serviced or greased in a while, why would you expect it to be a smooth ride?
Coaxing is all in the art of determining what makes your conquest turn into a willing partner. If you're smooth and inventive, generous and patient, strategic in delivering your sexy talk, they'll probably still see you coming a mile away, but regardless they won't mind being jawboned in the end, that is if their end gets a little wet along with yours.
I was somewhat taken aback when I heard these words. My friend was honest in trying to tell me that her husband's idea of coaxing her to want to have sex and her idea of being coaxed by him to have sex are as uncommon as penguins are to salamanders. She went on to tell me that his idea of coaxing her was in fact to rub his penis up against her backside as she did the dishes because this clearly would entice any woman to rip off her top and offer herself. Obviously, the man was mistaken. His wife knew exactly what would put her in the mood and it was being relieved of the endless duties to take care of a house and kids, which means the husband very often comes third or fourth in the list of things to take care of; herself being last.
"Truly?" I asked, "this is how he gets you in the mood?"
"Yup," she said, finishing up the dishes. "One time he vacuumed the entire house without having to be asked so we had oral sex. He's an idiot because he never made the connection to do the same again."
We women are regarded as curious beings, in the eyes of many men, to be sure. But then so too are men; quixotic beings, in the eyes of many women. Coaxing a certain attitude out of anyone, be it your wife or husband, you'd think would be an easy task, particularly if you've been married for any length of time. You'd almost want to believe that you know the person so well it would be a simple thing to ignite their fire and interest. The above situation, however, clearly demonstrates that this isn't the case at all. Us women want you to work for our lust and not necessarily to work us into a lather between the sheets but more appropriately, to work up a sweat taking out the garbage or washing the kitchen floor.
I wonder if you asked a man how do I coax you into bed, to have sex, what would he say...
"Hey, babe! Take off your top and parade nude around the living room and I'm good to go."
Can it be this simple? Maybe? But coaxing a friend to do something for you when they, too, have an innumerable number of priorities is an even more delicate balancing act, in the same manner that I feel compelled to manage when it comes to lining up a proofreader for novel seven. I express my gratitude after the job is done, which means a fine-dining restaurant, a bottle of fine-red wine, to include some cocktails down the road, and to know that I'll select a specific friend who loves to read, and who has no intentions of sparing my feelings. Truth is always best to seek in a proofreader, the first ARC (advance reader copy), as far as I'm concerned. My feelings are irrelevant when it comes to the logic of a manuscript, and catching that absolutely last error is the job of a proofreader, for which I'm grateful.
Ah yes, feelings and coitus. Feelings are the railroad tracks on which the train of lust rides, where men and women, men and men, and women and women are concerned. If your railroad tracks haven't been properly serviced or greased in a while, why would you expect it to be a smooth ride?
Coaxing is all in the art of determining what makes your conquest turn into a willing partner. If you're smooth and inventive, generous and patient, strategic in delivering your sexy talk, they'll probably still see you coming a mile away, but regardless they won't mind being jawboned in the end, that is if their end gets a little wet along with yours.
