Blog Dis
"I'm not aware..."
2024-06-18
That's what he said to me, a dear friend I've known for close to 30 years that he's unaware of his behaviour most of the times, such as neglecting to inquire about my health or that of my family's health.
"I'm not aware that I'm even doing it," he stated again, without registering a visible feeling. At that moment, I realized the size of a human head is in fact perfectly suited for lodging said head up one's ass, permanently and without reservations whatsoever. For to be 'not aware' is analogous to admitting you simply don't give a hoot. And that is the crux of the argument. Being aware means being capable of actually giving a shit for someone else, least of all for yourself or for the person with whom you're speaking. An old theme which returns over and over in my life is change. Everything on this planet changes. Your breasts, penis, ears and body parts all change. Your mind and emotions can change by the minute. Your sensibilities toward those people you know and especially to those you love will change. All of these aforementioned things are bound by the laws of change to change. When my friend had unwittingly neglected to ask about me, initially I was taken aback by this answer given by a supposedly dear old friend - that he's not aware he's doing it. It tells me wherever my friend is in their time and space of thought, genuine empathy for another individual will not necessarily enter into the picture.
Be aware, lest you too should fall into that trap of only being able to feel your own pain or to sympathize solely with your own troubles and situation. For when that day comes and you stop giving a shit about the people around you, then you must acknowledge that you've slipped off the ledge of emotional depth. And if I'm to work on the basis that everyone and everything changes, it should then follow that as people age their level of awareness and maturity in tandem should change for the better. That statement makes sense, right? Not so. The ability to empathize w/ other people means you must set aside your worries. Seems to me, based on what I've been told by those in long-term relationships, it's their biggest complaint with their significant others - their partner(s) is such a self-centered ninny they are loathe to give a shit.
Yet, with friends, and especially after 30+ years of instances that required forgiveness, there are some attributes of friendship we take for granted, like knowing you can call a friend and unload your worries and expect on the other end of the text or mobile phone to have a listener who genuinely cares. It's asking for a lot and yet it's not asking for too much. All my life I've been highly selective of friends. I maintain that adage of quality over quantity. But every once in a while I'm reminded that even friends are no longer the people I've perceived them to be. Friends too are changed irrevocably by events in life, and very often not necessarily for the better.
Even I need at times to pull my head out of my ass and accept that I'm not the center of anyone's Universe. It would do me a world of good to cut some friends a little slack and give them the benefit of the context. Being aware means you take the pains to pull off the cloak of familiarity and uncover your eyes, to see your friends for who they are because you, too, shall change, just like me.
"I'm not aware that I'm even doing it," he stated again, without registering a visible feeling. At that moment, I realized the size of a human head is in fact perfectly suited for lodging said head up one's ass, permanently and without reservations whatsoever. For to be 'not aware' is analogous to admitting you simply don't give a hoot. And that is the crux of the argument. Being aware means being capable of actually giving a shit for someone else, least of all for yourself or for the person with whom you're speaking. An old theme which returns over and over in my life is change. Everything on this planet changes. Your breasts, penis, ears and body parts all change. Your mind and emotions can change by the minute. Your sensibilities toward those people you know and especially to those you love will change. All of these aforementioned things are bound by the laws of change to change. When my friend had unwittingly neglected to ask about me, initially I was taken aback by this answer given by a supposedly dear old friend - that he's not aware he's doing it. It tells me wherever my friend is in their time and space of thought, genuine empathy for another individual will not necessarily enter into the picture.
Be aware, lest you too should fall into that trap of only being able to feel your own pain or to sympathize solely with your own troubles and situation. For when that day comes and you stop giving a shit about the people around you, then you must acknowledge that you've slipped off the ledge of emotional depth. And if I'm to work on the basis that everyone and everything changes, it should then follow that as people age their level of awareness and maturity in tandem should change for the better. That statement makes sense, right? Not so. The ability to empathize w/ other people means you must set aside your worries. Seems to me, based on what I've been told by those in long-term relationships, it's their biggest complaint with their significant others - their partner(s) is such a self-centered ninny they are loathe to give a shit.
Yet, with friends, and especially after 30+ years of instances that required forgiveness, there are some attributes of friendship we take for granted, like knowing you can call a friend and unload your worries and expect on the other end of the text or mobile phone to have a listener who genuinely cares. It's asking for a lot and yet it's not asking for too much. All my life I've been highly selective of friends. I maintain that adage of quality over quantity. But every once in a while I'm reminded that even friends are no longer the people I've perceived them to be. Friends too are changed irrevocably by events in life, and very often not necessarily for the better.
Even I need at times to pull my head out of my ass and accept that I'm not the center of anyone's Universe. It would do me a world of good to cut some friends a little slack and give them the benefit of the context. Being aware means you take the pains to pull off the cloak of familiarity and uncover your eyes, to see your friends for who they are because you, too, shall change, just like me.
