Blog Dis
Cruelty or kindness?
2024-06-25
In the dark, under my refrigerator, there are creepy crawly things that scamper out from underneath the dust-encrusted floor space. If, in the night, I turn on the light unexpectedly, sometimes I'll see that the tiniest of little critters will panic and dash for cover. And back in the days when I had two kitties, and also now on the occasions when I babysit kitties, very often I'll find the kitty perched in front of the fridge in the dark waiting for these bugs to venture out. Cats love to capture and eat these kinds of bugs. Lovely, I know...well, not really. Kitties seem very pleased with themselves, as they lick their lips.
I loved my kitties and still love pretty much all kitties, even the ones who are especially aloof and at times threatening with a hiss or two. Love pours out of kitties in buckets, unless of course you are their prey. In that regard, kitties are cruel to the tenth degree. They do not see "other" life forms but merely moving objects, nor do they reflect on their behaviour afterward. And if you are within their grasp, you will become their tasty meal. This happened a number of times when bees, wasps and moths had somehow managed to invade my apartment. Spiders, on the other hand, are part of the family and whenever I see one, I leave Mr. Spider alone to roam because they work diligently to keep the insect population down to a minimum; this includes their webs, the spectacular ones that are built now on my balcony, using the stacked milk crates I keep, which I used for moving my album collection, when I changed residences nine years back. I haven't the heart to get rid of these crates because they're actually hard to find. So, the crates remain, as do the spiders and their webs.
There are one or two spiders I see regularly and I make it a point of thanking them for keeping my indoor insect population under control. Kitties, however, could care less about this delicate eco-system and every and all spiders are fair game to them, and their hungry tummies. Would you call this cruelty?
Humans and our impressive capacity for compassion and kindness are also painstakingly cruel at times, such as when it comes to the history of the fine arts of torture and subjugation. I've never thought of myself as cruel. I don't enjoy inflicting pain, not even the emotional kind. But I know myself pretty well (or at least I like to believe that I do) and if someone were to push me to the breaking point, or to inflict unnecessary cruelty on me, my kindness instantly evaporates and a new woman emerges. I call her the child-woman in me who took lighters as a kid and cruelly destroyed the homes of tent caterpillars, back in the 1970s, when an infestation in our community was out of control. All the adults, and us kids, had gathered up the fuzzy caterpillars, placed them in large garbage cans and soaked them with lighter fluid, before setting it alight. In effect, we torched them alive, to ensure that each would die and not ever re-produce. Apparently, the best tried and true method of destroying these fast-breeding insects is by way of chemical pesticides, to spray their tents where their larvae are waiting to hatch. Either way, and now that I've been alive for decades, since that time back in the 1970s, I would probably bow out from engaging in this kind of mass caterpillar murder, and opt instead for a less invasive approach, like introducing into the population a natural predator of these caterpillars.
If ever you've seen firsthand the devastating effects of a tent caterpillar infestation, they can decimate an entire forested area of trees within years, by eating every leaf; healthy trees can endure these infestations for maybe two years before they die. The Eastern tent caterpillar prefers to eat cherry, apple and crab-apple trees, whereas the Western tent caterpillar is partial to willow, poplar, apple, plum, cherry and oak. And so, when us kids and the adults all banded together, our goal was to save our forested area, and nobody viewed the mass killing as cruel. It was thought of as necessary to protect the crab-apple trees. If kindness, on the other hand, had played a major role, the adults would've directed the children to spare the caterpillars or at least remove us from the situation before the barrel burning had begun.
I won't forget this event in my young life.
The competitive spirit that lives in us is sometimes confused with cruelty, such as when a parent pushes their child to succeed, well past the point of the child giving a flying hoot. Some would call this cruelty. Others would tell you it's a form of preparing the child to build a foundation for the real cruelty that exists in the adult world: the competitive and unforgiving workforce, the treacherous dating world, and the entire globe as a playground. Corporations, governments and military have raised cruelty above everyone's expectations and are capable of cutting a swath through an entire workforce if the bottom line of margins and profits are not being met. I've toiled in the workforce since the age of 18 and I can't name one instance on my little hands when a VP, CFO, CEO or superior had demonstrated genuine kindness that wasn't motivated by profit. Yes, kindness is a quality that should be present in our every day lives but more often than not, kindness is rarely seen. As corporations would tell you, it's never personal. Oh yes it is!
This is the main reason why I'm kind to myself. I make it a point to stare into the mirror each morning, speaking kind words to myself (in my head). "You look stunning today, Patricia," I tell myself. "You're smart and kind and truly a gifted woman who will go far." To my mind, if I can't be bothered to take the time to be kind to myself, how the heck can I expect anyone else to bestow this act of compassion on me, certainly not the creepy crawlies of this world, or bubble-head kitties? I've learned to not look for random kindness in the streets or from my employer. Though, on occasion, I will experience kindness from a stranger and I, too, will make an effort to be kind to strangers, such as the times when I've stood behind an elderly woman, beyond frail, barely able to buy groceries, or a young kid pulling pennies together to buy themselves a treat, yet not quite able to pay the whole amount, so I'll ask the cashier to put their bill on mine.
If charity beings at home, then perhaps too, kindness begins in the hearts and minds of people, looking at themselves in the mirror, speaking words of kindness that'll only be spoken from their thoughtful mouth.
I loved my kitties and still love pretty much all kitties, even the ones who are especially aloof and at times threatening with a hiss or two. Love pours out of kitties in buckets, unless of course you are their prey. In that regard, kitties are cruel to the tenth degree. They do not see "other" life forms but merely moving objects, nor do they reflect on their behaviour afterward. And if you are within their grasp, you will become their tasty meal. This happened a number of times when bees, wasps and moths had somehow managed to invade my apartment. Spiders, on the other hand, are part of the family and whenever I see one, I leave Mr. Spider alone to roam because they work diligently to keep the insect population down to a minimum; this includes their webs, the spectacular ones that are built now on my balcony, using the stacked milk crates I keep, which I used for moving my album collection, when I changed residences nine years back. I haven't the heart to get rid of these crates because they're actually hard to find. So, the crates remain, as do the spiders and their webs.
There are one or two spiders I see regularly and I make it a point of thanking them for keeping my indoor insect population under control. Kitties, however, could care less about this delicate eco-system and every and all spiders are fair game to them, and their hungry tummies. Would you call this cruelty?
Humans and our impressive capacity for compassion and kindness are also painstakingly cruel at times, such as when it comes to the history of the fine arts of torture and subjugation. I've never thought of myself as cruel. I don't enjoy inflicting pain, not even the emotional kind. But I know myself pretty well (or at least I like to believe that I do) and if someone were to push me to the breaking point, or to inflict unnecessary cruelty on me, my kindness instantly evaporates and a new woman emerges. I call her the child-woman in me who took lighters as a kid and cruelly destroyed the homes of tent caterpillars, back in the 1970s, when an infestation in our community was out of control. All the adults, and us kids, had gathered up the fuzzy caterpillars, placed them in large garbage cans and soaked them with lighter fluid, before setting it alight. In effect, we torched them alive, to ensure that each would die and not ever re-produce. Apparently, the best tried and true method of destroying these fast-breeding insects is by way of chemical pesticides, to spray their tents where their larvae are waiting to hatch. Either way, and now that I've been alive for decades, since that time back in the 1970s, I would probably bow out from engaging in this kind of mass caterpillar murder, and opt instead for a less invasive approach, like introducing into the population a natural predator of these caterpillars.
If ever you've seen firsthand the devastating effects of a tent caterpillar infestation, they can decimate an entire forested area of trees within years, by eating every leaf; healthy trees can endure these infestations for maybe two years before they die. The Eastern tent caterpillar prefers to eat cherry, apple and crab-apple trees, whereas the Western tent caterpillar is partial to willow, poplar, apple, plum, cherry and oak. And so, when us kids and the adults all banded together, our goal was to save our forested area, and nobody viewed the mass killing as cruel. It was thought of as necessary to protect the crab-apple trees. If kindness, on the other hand, had played a major role, the adults would've directed the children to spare the caterpillars or at least remove us from the situation before the barrel burning had begun.
I won't forget this event in my young life.
The competitive spirit that lives in us is sometimes confused with cruelty, such as when a parent pushes their child to succeed, well past the point of the child giving a flying hoot. Some would call this cruelty. Others would tell you it's a form of preparing the child to build a foundation for the real cruelty that exists in the adult world: the competitive and unforgiving workforce, the treacherous dating world, and the entire globe as a playground. Corporations, governments and military have raised cruelty above everyone's expectations and are capable of cutting a swath through an entire workforce if the bottom line of margins and profits are not being met. I've toiled in the workforce since the age of 18 and I can't name one instance on my little hands when a VP, CFO, CEO or superior had demonstrated genuine kindness that wasn't motivated by profit. Yes, kindness is a quality that should be present in our every day lives but more often than not, kindness is rarely seen. As corporations would tell you, it's never personal. Oh yes it is!
This is the main reason why I'm kind to myself. I make it a point to stare into the mirror each morning, speaking kind words to myself (in my head). "You look stunning today, Patricia," I tell myself. "You're smart and kind and truly a gifted woman who will go far." To my mind, if I can't be bothered to take the time to be kind to myself, how the heck can I expect anyone else to bestow this act of compassion on me, certainly not the creepy crawlies of this world, or bubble-head kitties? I've learned to not look for random kindness in the streets or from my employer. Though, on occasion, I will experience kindness from a stranger and I, too, will make an effort to be kind to strangers, such as the times when I've stood behind an elderly woman, beyond frail, barely able to buy groceries, or a young kid pulling pennies together to buy themselves a treat, yet not quite able to pay the whole amount, so I'll ask the cashier to put their bill on mine.
If charity beings at home, then perhaps too, kindness begins in the hearts and minds of people, looking at themselves in the mirror, speaking words of kindness that'll only be spoken from their thoughtful mouth.
