Blog Dis
A bed of lies
2024-06-27
One day when the world is perfect and men and women communicate beautifully with one another, I shall grow my hair to my toes and let my underarm hair grow even longer in order that it can be braided into three tiny ponytails under each arm. What a big fat lie!
The world will never be perfect and men and women will never truly communicate with one another in a fashion that is advantageous to both partners, so goes the belief of many psychologists and sociologists who study the inter-relationships between male and females. White lies cover each of us like a cloak of purity that is splashed with the truth in glaring red. We are pre-programmed to lie our faces off if we believe that the lie will benefit the person hearing it. Recently, on a morning talk show, I listened to one psychologist admit that women do not want to be told the truth by their husband or partner if the question being asked is, "Do I look fat in this dress?" Nope. Women want to be told that they look simply phucking gorgeous even if they do look somewhat rotund, or lumpy. And men, too, want to be uplifted as well and if they are told by their partner that the sex was freaking fantastic, even if the man instinctively senses that she didn't enjoy herself, he still prefers to be told a lie by her, rather than deal with the truth that his bed-skills might need a little polishing.
Dale Carnegie and his enormously successful book from the late 30s called 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' is from the same school of thought, that lies camouflaged as flattery are better than admitting your innermost thoughts. In other words, lie your bloody face off to get what you want, to avoid that argument and most importantly to avoid hurting someone's feelings. This philosophy I can get behind bcus sometimes it's just not worth hurting someone's feelings when you're forced to deal with the fall-out, such as the silent treatment or no sex at all.
But when is it vitally important to tell the truth?
We seek both truth and beauty in our incredibly flawed world and lies are part of the delicate fabric. When should you strip away the veneer and let the lies fall by the wayside and wallow in truth? Why the answer is easy of course. Tell the truth to yourself. If you're a wanker and you treat people like shit, then why lie to yourself that you're going to have a crowd of adoring fans at your funeral when you finally kick the bucket? You'll probably be long forgotten or criticized for being an asshole. Because rest assured, after you're dead the truth will come out about your personality, and whether or not you made people feel better about themselves, after they left your company, or if you tore them to shreds while they endured your company. Forget about this nonsense of not wanting to speak ill of the dead. The dead cannot defend themselves and even though people know this they sometimes still need to vent their feelings - their brutal truth.
Jonathan Swift, an Anglo-Irish essayist, poet, and author had summed it up best. He said that a lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. Best quote ever on the subject of telling the truth. I hate liars. I hate it when men are pathological liars and begin a relationship on the basis of deception. These kinds of lies catch up with them and are revealed through the pain and hurt they cause you. If that is the kind of world that some people want to cultivate, then I say to you go ahead, you lying bastard! If you want, you can lay down on a bed of lies but you'll still have to eventually get up and search for the truth like the rest of us. After all, you can only sleep so much or go through life with your head up your ass for so long, because in the end, sometimes you need to be told that "Yes, my darling, I wish I could tell you but it's not true, you do look a tad frumpy and fat in that dress. Let us go and buy you a new one!"
Flattery often masquerades as as lie, while the lie is rarely called out as a lie when spoken as flattery.
The world will never be perfect and men and women will never truly communicate with one another in a fashion that is advantageous to both partners, so goes the belief of many psychologists and sociologists who study the inter-relationships between male and females. White lies cover each of us like a cloak of purity that is splashed with the truth in glaring red. We are pre-programmed to lie our faces off if we believe that the lie will benefit the person hearing it. Recently, on a morning talk show, I listened to one psychologist admit that women do not want to be told the truth by their husband or partner if the question being asked is, "Do I look fat in this dress?" Nope. Women want to be told that they look simply phucking gorgeous even if they do look somewhat rotund, or lumpy. And men, too, want to be uplifted as well and if they are told by their partner that the sex was freaking fantastic, even if the man instinctively senses that she didn't enjoy herself, he still prefers to be told a lie by her, rather than deal with the truth that his bed-skills might need a little polishing.
Dale Carnegie and his enormously successful book from the late 30s called 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' is from the same school of thought, that lies camouflaged as flattery are better than admitting your innermost thoughts. In other words, lie your bloody face off to get what you want, to avoid that argument and most importantly to avoid hurting someone's feelings. This philosophy I can get behind bcus sometimes it's just not worth hurting someone's feelings when you're forced to deal with the fall-out, such as the silent treatment or no sex at all.
But when is it vitally important to tell the truth?
We seek both truth and beauty in our incredibly flawed world and lies are part of the delicate fabric. When should you strip away the veneer and let the lies fall by the wayside and wallow in truth? Why the answer is easy of course. Tell the truth to yourself. If you're a wanker and you treat people like shit, then why lie to yourself that you're going to have a crowd of adoring fans at your funeral when you finally kick the bucket? You'll probably be long forgotten or criticized for being an asshole. Because rest assured, after you're dead the truth will come out about your personality, and whether or not you made people feel better about themselves, after they left your company, or if you tore them to shreds while they endured your company. Forget about this nonsense of not wanting to speak ill of the dead. The dead cannot defend themselves and even though people know this they sometimes still need to vent their feelings - their brutal truth.
Jonathan Swift, an Anglo-Irish essayist, poet, and author had summed it up best. He said that a lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. Best quote ever on the subject of telling the truth. I hate liars. I hate it when men are pathological liars and begin a relationship on the basis of deception. These kinds of lies catch up with them and are revealed through the pain and hurt they cause you. If that is the kind of world that some people want to cultivate, then I say to you go ahead, you lying bastard! If you want, you can lay down on a bed of lies but you'll still have to eventually get up and search for the truth like the rest of us. After all, you can only sleep so much or go through life with your head up your ass for so long, because in the end, sometimes you need to be told that "Yes, my darling, I wish I could tell you but it's not true, you do look a tad frumpy and fat in that dress. Let us go and buy you a new one!"
Flattery often masquerades as as lie, while the lie is rarely called out as a lie when spoken as flattery.
