Blog Dis
To f*ck your buddy or not? This is the question
2024-07-11
Friends are not a dime a dozen. Friends are precious and far and few between and the ones in between are at times like a light switch, turning on and off when it suits their fancy. We've all experienced periods when our friends are preoccupied with their lives, that they have very little time to spare for anyone else but their immediate needs, such as work, family and the biggie of them all, that entity that causes more emotional stress than anything... yes, THE RELATIONSHIP! (And same applies to ourselves as well, right? That we too are often given to distractions in life).
Well, an old friend of mine, whom I've known for over 25+ years during one of our last visits had dropped by unexpectedly, plunking an offer into my lap that raised my eyebrows and made me smile in secret, despite me not caring as a general rule for unplanned drop-ins. When someone unexpectedly drops in to visit, they're in effect making their spontaneity your spontaneity. But I try to be accommodating, particularly as I don't see this friend very often. Our friendship has dwindled down and gone back up again, and down and up; we typically only connect maybe once a year, and possibly twice a year on a good year. The perspective of a friend who hasn't seen you in a long time cut both ways. Either they think you look terrific or they withhold their observations that you look tired and in need of a good rest, or a good shag. My friend's estimation of me was the former; he thought I looked terrific. In fact, after giving me a good look over, he happily offered to suck my Lady Bits.
"Umm... umm... thank you?" I said. "We've enjoyed a platonic friendship all these years and well... you know... I kind of like it to remain this way. The minute you introduce sex into a friendship you change the chemistry of the friendship's dynamic."
To which my friend grinned brightly and left the offer open. "Should you change your mind."
"Oh! Good to know," I said. "You're very obliging."
How kind of him. Men are exceedingly generous with their man parts and we should all be so lucky to have friends who want to help out their friends with that much-needed physical release, that can only come from engaging in the carnal act. I believe the modern term in this 21st Century is "f*ck buddies", or "friends with benefits"; the less punctuating version of the term. It's a status that I've not been quite able to wrap my head around. Because a buddy you screw on a casual basis is no longer a buddy in the sense that you've crossed that line which separates friends from lover.
Don't listen to those people who tell you that my lover is my best friend or my wife or husband is my best friend and lover. These two disparate elements are rarely tangible and compatible when blended together. Let me explain. A lover will take out their frustrations on their lover because by virtue of the proximity and their lives being intertwined, a lover has to deal with the good and the bad. Whereas, to my mind, a friend is in the enviable position of being able to pull back and to choose not to deal with the unnecessary burden that wasn't theirs in the first place. Friends are not supposed to place expectations on their friends, least of all to drop their problems into their friend's lap and expect them to sort them out. A friend should be there to listen and observe and offer constructive criticism, if and only when it is requested.
But we know a lover gets away with much more, poor behaviour like selfishness and neglect, and taking their lover for granted is a variation on neglect. I've had lovers and friends. Lovers come and go and friends do as well but the odds of holding onto friends for twenty or thirty years is greater than holding onto all your lovers for this same length of time. So, when a friend offers to suck my Lady Bits, I look upon it as a test of my resolve and my so-called principles. Do I, or should I, cherish the friendship and place that priority above my instantaneous gratification? Yes! An orgasm lasts all of three seconds versus the friendship which lasts a lifetime, providing it's nurtured and accorded its due respect.
That profound Greek philosopher, Plato, for whom the term platonic was named after, would be proud of me for making my choice. Instantaneous gratification is fleeting; it's not meant to last. Whereas, my friend and I are still friends after all these years. You could say we are like brother and sister.
Now, where is that slicked up finger of mine?
Well, an old friend of mine, whom I've known for over 25+ years during one of our last visits had dropped by unexpectedly, plunking an offer into my lap that raised my eyebrows and made me smile in secret, despite me not caring as a general rule for unplanned drop-ins. When someone unexpectedly drops in to visit, they're in effect making their spontaneity your spontaneity. But I try to be accommodating, particularly as I don't see this friend very often. Our friendship has dwindled down and gone back up again, and down and up; we typically only connect maybe once a year, and possibly twice a year on a good year. The perspective of a friend who hasn't seen you in a long time cut both ways. Either they think you look terrific or they withhold their observations that you look tired and in need of a good rest, or a good shag. My friend's estimation of me was the former; he thought I looked terrific. In fact, after giving me a good look over, he happily offered to suck my Lady Bits.
"Umm... umm... thank you?" I said. "We've enjoyed a platonic friendship all these years and well... you know... I kind of like it to remain this way. The minute you introduce sex into a friendship you change the chemistry of the friendship's dynamic."
To which my friend grinned brightly and left the offer open. "Should you change your mind."
"Oh! Good to know," I said. "You're very obliging."
How kind of him. Men are exceedingly generous with their man parts and we should all be so lucky to have friends who want to help out their friends with that much-needed physical release, that can only come from engaging in the carnal act. I believe the modern term in this 21st Century is "f*ck buddies", or "friends with benefits"; the less punctuating version of the term. It's a status that I've not been quite able to wrap my head around. Because a buddy you screw on a casual basis is no longer a buddy in the sense that you've crossed that line which separates friends from lover.
Don't listen to those people who tell you that my lover is my best friend or my wife or husband is my best friend and lover. These two disparate elements are rarely tangible and compatible when blended together. Let me explain. A lover will take out their frustrations on their lover because by virtue of the proximity and their lives being intertwined, a lover has to deal with the good and the bad. Whereas, to my mind, a friend is in the enviable position of being able to pull back and to choose not to deal with the unnecessary burden that wasn't theirs in the first place. Friends are not supposed to place expectations on their friends, least of all to drop their problems into their friend's lap and expect them to sort them out. A friend should be there to listen and observe and offer constructive criticism, if and only when it is requested.
But we know a lover gets away with much more, poor behaviour like selfishness and neglect, and taking their lover for granted is a variation on neglect. I've had lovers and friends. Lovers come and go and friends do as well but the odds of holding onto friends for twenty or thirty years is greater than holding onto all your lovers for this same length of time. So, when a friend offers to suck my Lady Bits, I look upon it as a test of my resolve and my so-called principles. Do I, or should I, cherish the friendship and place that priority above my instantaneous gratification? Yes! An orgasm lasts all of three seconds versus the friendship which lasts a lifetime, providing it's nurtured and accorded its due respect.
That profound Greek philosopher, Plato, for whom the term platonic was named after, would be proud of me for making my choice. Instantaneous gratification is fleeting; it's not meant to last. Whereas, my friend and I are still friends after all these years. You could say we are like brother and sister.
Now, where is that slicked up finger of mine?
